..dashing through the snow..

...on a one horse open sleigh! okay, well technically there were two horses, and we were on more of a wagon than a sled, but it was still so much fun and something i hope to make a tradition in the years to come.

it all started a week or so ago when uncle zac decided he wanted to finally propose to shrimp. we were brainstorming fun ways to do it, and he decided a sleigh ride up at red ledges was the winning idea! my mom made a bride & groom gingerbread cookie, and zac tied the ring to the bride. the plan was to meet up in heber, with hot cocoa & snow clothes and he would get down on one knee somewhere on the sleigh ride.

the plan went off without a hitch! the driver was a little quirky, and started off the ride on an interesting foot when he made fun of golfers! haha he had no idea zac is a soon-to-be professional golfer, so it was so funny listening to him talk about golf. i think he was a bit embarrassed when we told him he was driving a sleigh full of golfers. lol! zac arranged with the driver ahead of time to stop halfway through so he could propose. i must say, even i had butterflies waiting for it to happen! alicia was so surprised, it was so fun to watch and i am so glad we were there for it.

we ended the ride with delicious hot chocolate and of course some photos to help capture this wonderful memory.

..breakfast with the tawzers..

seems like the past few years we have made a tradition of getting together with the tawzer's when they come to town over christmas! it is always so fun watching the kids play - i only wish they lived closer so we could get together more often. whit's girl's are just the cutest, and i hope one of them (or both!) end up being my daughter's-in-law someday. ;)

..finding joy in this season of my life..

the other day i was contacted by someone in relief society, wanting to know if i'd be willing to speak at our annual relief society program. the topic: finding joy in this season of my life (as a young mother). while many would instinctually come up with any excuse possible to get out of speaking at such an event, it was strange how instinctual my desire was to say yes. maybe it's because i spend my days talking like a baby and singing praises on high when my toddler pees in his potty, but the opportunity to speak with, and in front of, adults was almost exciting to me! almost. we'll see how it goes tomorrow. ;)

before having kids i was a total perfectionist. clean, well-decorated house. cooked dinner often. always caught up on laundry. loved having people over for dinner and parties - a total entertainer. i was well-groomed, had perfect hair, looked cute in clothes. and while i like to think i'm still all those things at heart, my life (and my body!) looks a lot different these days!

if you were to show up at my house on any given day during this season of my life, i'll tell ya what you will find: coincidentally our front room (the living room) has become our playroom, so between the hours of 8 am and 8 pm, blocks, books, toys and pillows (since pillows are toys to 2-year-olds) cover the floor. i do pick them up when the kids go to bed at night, although i often wonder why i bother, since they're dumped all over the place first thing the next morning. it won't take long before you'll notice that my furniture needs to be dusted, my floors need to be vacuumed and mopped. the kitchen is my happy place, so i try to keep that somewhat clean, but i've given up on the appliances - stainless steel and toddlers' greasy paw-prints don't mesh. there is a constant layer of cheerios and goldfish underneath the kitchen table, and dried peanut butter and jelly glued to the table where finn sits.

if you look in my washer and dryer, 100% of the time you'll find clothes. don't ask me how long they've been there, although i can almost guarantee that the clothes have been washed and dried at least three times each.

when people stop by unannounced, my biggest fear is that they'll have to use the restroom. i hate cleaning bathrooms, and even before i had kids, i was really pretty bad at it. i clean it before a party, and after someone has had a big poo, and that is about it. occasionally when i'm feeling super productive, i'll give the toilet a good scrub, but honestly that probably happens like three times a year. part of the reason most of the reason i invite people over so much is so i'll be motivated to clean the bathroom. i'm really dead serious. #howgrossami?

we eat peanut butter and jelly (or honey if you're my one-year-old) sandwiches 5-6 days of the week, often for breakfast and lunch, since that's the only thing finn willingly eats. we eat pizza for dinner at least once a week, and go out another 1-2 times. the nights that we do eat in? macaroni and cheese, cheese quesadillas, tacos, spaghetti, occasionally soup/stew/chili are what's on the menu.

had you told me prior to having kids that this is what my life would be like, i honestly wouldn't have believed you. i was the person that told herself she'd never change her house to accommodate kids or make things easier on herself. for example, rather than removing the family heirloom that the toddler could break, i was just going to teach the toddler not to touch it. i didn't want my house to turn into a baby zone - swing, playmat, bouncer, jumper, highchair and toys galore strewn everywhere. i wasn't going to get rid of my tables and lamps, and all the things that made my house a cute and comfortable home. i was just going to teach my kids to live peacefully and respectfully in it.

well i lasted a whole four months, before one day looking around and realizing i was 100% the mom i said i wouldn't be! the swing, bouncer, playmat, jumper and highchair have adorned each room for months at a time, with both kids. our toy collection keeps getting bigger, despite our repeated attempts to get rid of and/or stop buying more, since again, 1600 square feet isn't big enough for everything. my coffee table lasted about 18 months, and i have decorated for christmas (stairway garlands, trees in multiple rooms) every year since having kids, so i'm kinda proud of that. however sam still tries to climb up my lamp and goes for the wallflower every chance he gets and no matter how many times i tell finn that the couch is not a trampoline, he still doesn't seem to get it. clearly, mom-0 kids-1,567,890,206. but who's keeping score? ;)

so, with all that being said, how am i finding joy in this season of my life, when my house is in a constant state of disaster and smells perpetually of poop??

one of my favorite quotes/sayings since having kids is:

"cooking and cleaning can wait 'til tomorrow
for children grow up, we've learned to our sorrow.
so hush away cobwebs, dust go to sleep
i'm rocking my baby, for babies don't keep."

the answer is simple, really: i've accepted that this time of my life is simply a season, and a glorious one, at that. it is a time of life that i have looked forward to since i was a little girl. being a stay-at-home-mom and raising babies has been my dream since i can remember. sometimes i still have to pinch myself so that i know it's real. i mean seriously, how did i get so lucky? i'm doing what i love, with the people i love most in the world. it truly is a dream come true.

sure, there are days when i look around and wish that my house didn't always look like the tazmanian devil found his way inside. i wish i could stay caught up on laundry, cook healthy gourmet meals that everyone would graciously consume, take a shower and blow-dry my hair without hearing babies screaming (whether real or imagined). sometimes i think it would be nice to make a trip to the grocery store without buying a balloon (to keep the boys entertained) and mentos (a tried and true bribe to keep finn happy and obedient while stocking up on our weekly staples). of course all of this sounds lovely and amazing - but compared to the deal i'm getting now? heavens no. far and wide i'm in the thick of the good stuff. and i feel really, really lucky that i know that this is the good stuff, because i know many, many young moms who struggle, day in and day out, with this season of their lives.

social media has made life kinda difficult for young moms. probably for everyone, but especially for young moms. don't get me wrong, i love browsing facebook, instagram, blogs and pinterest, and although i hate to admit it, i spend way more time on those sites than i should. it is fun to keep up with friends you otherwise wouldn't, to get ideas on what to cook for dinner and how to get that nasty stain out of your white sofa. i especially love instagram - it is mostly just positive, happy pictures of happy people, doing things they love with people they love. most of the time it leaves me feeling uplifted, as opposed to facebook, which often leaves me infuriated and in a rage, but let's not get into that now. ;) as uplifting and encouraging and motivating as these sites can be, i think they often have a different effect, one that is not so positive. it's so easy to get caught up in reading about other peoples "picture perfect lives," that you can start to feel like you're doing something wrong. how does so-and-so have time to work out in the morning, make a 5-star breakfast, lunch and dinner for 8 kids, attend everyone's soccer/dance/piano recitals, run a business, make homemade christmas presents, take cookies to the entire neighborhood, run the pta, be the primary president and still have time to bathe, read to, and snuggle with her kids before 8 o'clock bedtime?! i mean for real - that's what most blogs and instagram depict, am i wrong? and then there's me, on the other hand, who feels accomplished if we all get dressed for the day and make it to the park for a half hour. ;)

for me, there are two things that keep me grounded, helping me find joy each and every day during this season of my life.

1) knowing my limits
2) prioritizing.

for some reason that i'll never know but always be eternally grateful for, this stay-at-home-mom business has always come pretty easy to me. i'm sure 99% of it is that i have angel children - seriously, they're pretty dang easy. maybe things will be extremely difficult as they get older, so heavenly father has made this part of the path smooth? i don't know. so far, i just have never felt like there was this huge adjustment. and perhaps it is because of that that i'm able to keep a good perspective on this season of my life, one that can get pretty redundant and boring and exhausting and exhilarating, all at the same time. since becoming a mom, i've never been the type to get caught up in comparing myself to others. i feel like i have a pretty great life, so i've never felt the need to envy what others have. and again, i feel eternally grateful to know that. i know myself, i know what i'm capable of, and i'm okay with it.

do i wish i could make a gourmet meal for breakfast, lunch and dinner every day of the week? absolutely! do i want to? heck no! i'd rather spend that time snuggling with my babes in bed, watching sesame street while they drink their bottles. do i wish my house was spotless every day, and presentable for the people that rarely stop in unannounced? absolutely! do i want to spend hours each day vacuuming, mopping, dusting and wiping down countertops? heavens no. i'd rather be making block-towers, driving cars all over the house, playing peek-a-boo and hide-n-seek, having tickle-fests and dance parties with the two little people who have my whole heart. do i wish my life could be a picture perfect magazine, one in which i always look good with my perfectly kept hair, manicured nails, flawless skin with the right amount of make-up, and where my kids are dressed to the nines, playing in their designer bedrooms, with their land of nod toys? honestly? no. because that is not real life. or it isn't mine anyway.

my real life is dressed in pajamas until noon, when we decide to go for a drive and get mom her "medicine" (pepsi) and possibly run into target or "mith's" (smith's) so that finn can push the kid-sized cart around. it is back in pajamas for nap time at 1 pm (with bottles, heaven forbid!) and when i say nap time, i don't mean just the kids. i never cook or clean during nap time, or do anything that resembles productivity (unless you count designing my future home on pinterest and getting caught up on the boys' blog/journal, which i rarely do - i mostly just sleep, online shop and watch ridiculous amounts of netflix). occasionally i'll change out of my pajamas before lance gets home, just so he doesn't think i'm totally worthless, and so maybe it will motivate me to get my lazy bum out of the house. but again, that's only occasionally.

i know my limits, and right now i'm capped out at feeding, dressing, and entertaining two kids, myself and my husband. cooking and cleaning can wait for tomorrow.

i've probably made myself sound pretty lazy and somewhat pathetic by now, and if i haven't, then i haven't succeeded in depicting myself accurately. haha just kidding. i don't think i'm pathetic because guess what? i'm happy. i'm loving this season of my life and finding joy in the journey and i think that first and foremost, that is what our heavenly father intended for us. my kids are seemingly healthy and mostly happy (although finn is two, so a lot of the time he isn't happy, but i don't think that is my fault?) , i've been a mom for 2 1/2 years and we've all survived this far so i'd say, i'm not doing too bad. if there is one thing i'm really good at, it is pampering myself. was it oprah that said something to the effect of "you can't take care of others unless you first take care of yourself"? well whoever said it, i totally agree with them. if mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy, and that's the truth. i feel grateful to have a husband who lets me get out to do my thing when i need some alone time, and let me tell you, i need my alone time. there's nothing quite like an unaccompanied trip to the mall or strolling the aisles of target without crying babies. an occasional pedicure and dinner with great girlfriends also help rejuvenate my soul. i still plan parties and invite people over for dinner. i decorate my house for christmas and put up with the broken ornaments - but only because that is what i love. these are the things that make me, well me, and i find no sense in sacrificing the things you love just because you have kids.

so if i had to give a morsel of advice to new moms, or old moms, or maybe not even moms at all but just people in general, i would say figure out what you're capable of, and just do what you love. do what you're good at and do what comes natural to you and you'll find joy in the journey, no matter what season of life you find yourself in.

xoxo

..halloween 2013..

i've always been a holiday-lover. from the time i was little til now, and every year in between, i've always looked forward to valentine's day, easter, the fourth of july, halloween, thanksgiving and christmas (and any others i forgot in that list!). call it nostalgic. call it traditional. call it whatever you want, but had you told me 10 years ago that 10 years from then, holidays would mean even more to me, i wouldn't have believed it because i already loved all holidays so much. 

well guess what? i do love holidays even more these days and you'll only need one guess to figure out why: kids! what is it about their sweet, innocent spirits, their spunk and enthusiasm for life that just makes everything better, even as an adult? seeing the world through their eyes is possibly one of my favorite things about being a mom and raising kids. 

we practiced with finn for weeks leading up to halloween:

mom: "you knock on the door, then what do you say??"

finn: "yeah."

mom: "no, you say, 'trick-or-treat?!'"

finn: "trick-or-treat?!'"

mom: "then you grab a piece of candy, and what do you say after?"

finn: "yeah."

mom: "no, then you say, 'thank you!'"

finn (in the sweetest voice you'll ever hear): "thank you!" 

lol, if only you could hear the way he says thank you. it would seriously melt your heart. okay maybe not, but it melted mine. every time. i really thought he had the whole thing down pat, but come time to trick-or-treat, finn completely froze. he's a little bit a lot a bit shy around people he doesn't know, so he was very hesitant to take any candy in the first place, let alone say "trick-or-treat" and "thank you."

we started the afternoon off at smith's marketplace, which was sort of lame, then headed to main street in bountiful. we were with my mom, chelsey, locke and mccoy and let me just say - finn and sam were both total nightmares. go figure, neither one of them took a nap today. why, of all days, do they pick today?! so both of them were tired, grumpy and extra shy. locke was so excited, friendly and polite. it was the cutest thing ever, listening to him say "hi" to everyone, and he'd always add a "thank you" after grabbing some candy. finn, on the other hand, had to be reminded constantly. it was actually sort of frustrating for me to watch, because finn has always been so polite. like to the point that we didn't think it was normal just how polite he is. we'll just chalk it up to stranger danger, eh? ;) he sort of got the hang of things by the time we were done, though. main street was basically just a disaster. finn wouldn't even stand by locke to take a picture. and when i finally talked bribed him into it, locke wasn't having it! two-year-olds, need i say more?! 

after we finished on main street, i decided to go for a little drive, because i was certain one of the boys would fall asleep in the car. it took finn a whole two minutes after we got going haha, like i said, the kid was tired! thankfully he slept for 30-40 minutes, and let me tell you, every second counted.

grandpa jimbob stopped by to say hi and see the boys in their costumes. we had to wake finn up to see him, and he surprisingly warmed right up. 

the mcconnel's joined us on main street, and then met us again at our house for some neighborhood trick-or-treating. it was so fun to see them and to see miss madi in her butterfly costume - prettiest little butterfly ever! the clark's also joined us. it was so much fun trick-or-treating with friends. there aren't many things cuter than watching your toddlers relationships develop. krew and finn have always gotten along so well, so i love seeing them together. krew was hilarious trick-or-treating. he knew exactly what to say, and after grabbing a piece of candy, he'd say, "i need one more." hahaha we were seriously dying. he also encouraged finn to knock on doors, by gently placing his hand on finn's back and saying, "knock on the door finn. say trick-or-treat." melt! kids are too funny. 

one of my favorite parts of the evening was watching finn trick-or-treat. he sort of caught on to the whole process (still needed some prompting and encouraging to say what he was supposed to) but without fail, every time after he grabbed a piece of candy, he would enthusiastically turn around and say, "WHOA MOM, wook at dis!!!!" and almost every time, it was the same kind of candy (a whopper or a sucker). 

we left sam home with grandma, who handed out the candy to the trick-or-treaters that came to our house. let me just say, our grandma is the best! she brought both the kids a halloween present - a book for both of them, and a jellycat lion for sam, and a jellycat giraffe for finn (to match their costumes). finn hasn't parted with the giraffe since (except when he went trick-or-treating). lance has been out of town all week (he's actually on his way home now), so i don't know what i would have done without my mom - definitely couldn't have handled the kids alone today, with the sleep-deprived state we were all in. ;) 

by the end of the night, finn had a lot of suckers, whoppers, and plenty of other kinds of candy to last him for the next few weeks. we'll see if it really does last that long, eh? ;) and despite my ornery disposition for much of the day, i would still consider it a really fun day. if only those darn kids would have taken their naps! would have solved all the days problems. ;)

happy halloween!! 

..moab..

every year, the company that lance gets most of his work through takes their employees on a little getaway. a couple years ago they went to moab, last year fishing in seattle,  you get the idea. well this year, lance happened to be in the office when they were talking about it. lance heard the word, "moab" (a place he's always wanted to go) and said, "moab? what??!" lol nosey little lance. ;) calvin said, "i'm only taken my best subs, you wanna go?" see normally, they don't invite any subs, just the company employees. but i guess lance was in the right place at the right time, because we got invited!

it was a quick trip, but a greatly needed one none-the-less. i've never been away from my kids for more than 24 hours. and even then, the only time i've been away that long was when i was in the hospital (childbirth & appendicitis) and those don't really count. to be honest, i wasn't too nervous or sad to leave. i knew they would be in great hands with grandma (who had some help - or at least company - from uncle zac and shrimp) and i knew they probably wouldn't even miss us. which i'm pretty sure they didn't. ;)

the only time i cried the whole 2 1/2 days was when i called to talk to finn. hearing his sweet, perfect little voice say, "i wuv you mom. i meese you." it doesn't get any sweeter than that, i couldn't help but shed a few tears.

we spent both days in moab jeeping. a mildly majorly terrifying experience, if you ask me. lance, on the other hand, was in complete and utter heaven! i don't think a smile left his face the entire weekend. it was fun getting to know some of the people lance works with (and talks about), and also fun to hang out with calvin, ashley & hayleigh. i think i saw my life flash before my eyes more times than i can count, but it really was a fun thing to experience. lance has always wanted to go jeeping, so we'll just cross that off the ol' bucket list.

it was a fun, and like i said, much needed weekend away, but boy was i happy to see my two little boys again. big thanks to grandma cindy for takin' such good care of them - what would we do without her??

..cornbelly's..

ever heard of cornbelly's? i'm sure you have. i've been hearing about it for years. supposedly it is one of the best corn mazes in the country! lance and i hadn't been to a corn maze in quite a while (what is the point really, when you have young kids?) but this year i decided we ought to give it a shot. 

had i known that cornbelly's offers everything they do, i would have made it a tradition years ago to go there every october! holy freakin' smokes batman, we could have spent an entire day there!! which is why we had to make a two-day-thing of it. :)

finn loved jumping on the "trampoline," going down the big slides, doing the pumpkin maze and basically just running around to his hearts content. the second day we went, we invited uncle zac and shrimpy to come. it is so fun watching zac and finn together - they both love each other so much! melts my heart. zac, lance and me did the bull ride - geeze louise that was fun! why have i never done it before?! i was laughing hysterically the whole time! 

by the end of both nights we were freezing cold and tired, but boy, were those fun nights. definitely a tradition we'll keep going in the years to come. if you haven't been to cornbelly's, make sure you go next year. you won't regret it,  promise! 

..sammy's circus..

the other day on facebook someone posted that she couldn't sleep, so she was planning her kid's birthday party - 3 weeks in advance! that made me chuckle, because i've been planning sam's for oh, 3 months. haha maybe even longer, if you consider that i decided on the theme back in march, when i started planning finn's 2nd birthday party. hey, in my defense, this is the sort of thing i love. when you're a stay-at-home momma, birthday parties are a big deal to wannabe event planners.

i ordered a few things for the party in july, and bought things here and there in august. i didn't get really serious about it, though, until the first or second week of september. i remember thinking that his birthday was almost one month away and that i had to step on it if i wanted all my grand plans to become a reality.

over the next month, i worked day and night, designing then cutting out the gift tags and food labels, and all the letters for all the signs. making the banner and birthday hats and the list goes on and on. pretty sure it would be in my best interest (and my scissors) to invest in a silhouette or cricut. i'm now on a first-name basis with everyone that works at michael's, zurchers & hobby lobby. we have no money in our bank account and my kids probably forgot who i am (you know, since they've been sorely neglected. just joking. sort of.). but it was all worth it because everything came together and turned out mostly the way i envisioned it.

thank goodness for my mom who came down the night before. if it weren't for her, things definitely wouldn't have come together on time. i don't know why i always think i have more time than i actually do - probably because time speeds up the day of a party. a minute goes from 60 seconds to 30 seconds and bam! it's party time. let's hope no one needed to use the restroom, or if they did, let's hope they kept the lights turned off because i have no idea what state the bathroom was in come party time, it definitely didn't get cleaned by me! ;)

the weather ended up being perfect - praise the heavens on high. this party had to be outdoors in order for it to have the visual effect i was going for. thank you, weather gods, for granting my wish. it was a bit more windy than i'd hoped for, but nothing we couldn't handle, thank goodness. and for the most part, you didn't even need a jacket, it was perfectly pleasant.

sam was a total grump for the first 45 minutes. he literally just cried the whole time. i think it was mostly a matter of wondering who his mom had turned into (a stress-case child neglector) and why she, as well as his dad, were dressed weird. as soon as i calmed down and held him, he calmed down, go figure. and the rest of the party was wonderful.

lance and my amazing neighbors, reid and garrett, made my dream of turning the patio into a "big top," a reality. i had the vision - they had what it took to make it happen. it took a lot of time and effort (and duck tape!), but was totally worth it. all three of them also helped me make the ferris wheel. i saw the idea on pinterest, so i called a local bike shop to see if they had any old wheels they'd be willing to sell me. just so happens they had two and they gave them to me for free (score!). we then hit up lowes to find some rods to hold it all together. i found what i needed, no thanks to lance, who assured me this was going to be a "huge project that would cost a lot of time and money and probably wouldn't work in the end." despite his protestations, i had the idea in my head and it wasn't going away, so i insisted on spending the time and money to make it happen. it actually ended up being pretty cheap ($30 tops) and really didn't take a lot of time. lance painted the wheels and rods, garrett & reid welded the rods together to make the upside down "v" (the legs) and i attached all the "seats" with fishing line. it turned out to be a hit, so i'm glad we made it happen.

my amazing mom made the darling cake, frosted the cupcakes, made the caramel apples and did a zillion other things. seriously, what would i do without her??

and last, but certainly not least, HUGE thanks to the amazing jessica kettle (my friend/neighbor/most talented photographer ever) for photographing this special occasion. i spent so much time and money on it, that i definitely wanted to have pictures to show for it all.

here are some very non-professional photos (taken by me) of everyone "clowning around":

i was so grateful to everyone who came to support this special boy. he has brought so much love and laughter into our family, i don't know what we'd do without him.

one last time, happy FIRST birthday to our sweet sammy boy!

..ONE..

my dear samuel james,

today you are one year old. i can hardly believe those words - there is no way an entire year has come and gone since your entrance into this world, that eventful night last october 11th. we have made so many wonderful memories, we have all grown and learned so much about one another and ourselves. we have had happy times and some sad ones, too, but mostly just happy. if there is anything i've learned this past year, it is that life is better with you in it. i'm thankful to my heavenly father every single day for blessing me with my two beautiful boys, and entrusting me with your lives. at times, the task seems overwhelming, but mostly just because i love you guys so much.

this past month has been a fun one. it is my favorite time of year and so far i feel like we've made the most of it! we went to the state fair, did family pictures in a beautiful orchard, made peach pies (lots of them!) and halloween cupcakes, both of which you enjoyed consuming. ;) earlier this week we went to the pumpkin patch and picked ourselves some good pumpkins. we've been enjoying the cooler temps and the beautiful leaves, and even though our days seem shorter since it gets dark so much earlier, i am still loving everything about the fall so far.

some things i want to remember about you as a ONE-year-old (i still can't believe it! one?!)
- you are starting to become uninterested in food. i don't know if it is due to teething, but you have always been such a great eater - not picky at all. lately, though, you could care less about most foods.
- you throw your animals out of your crib during nap time and bed time. finn used to do this, too and i always got a chuckle out of it.
- speaking of throwing things, you are in this phase where you drop everything (like when you're in your high chair/stroller/car seat etc) wait for us to pick it up for you, watch us to make sure we're watching you, then drop it again! it is totally a game to you, but after the fourth or fifth time of dropping it & picking it up, it gets reallllly old. ;)
- you love being in big spaces, like costco, the grocery store...anywhere with tall tall ceilings and big lights. you just stare up the whole time.
- you have the tiniest feet on this planet, i swear. you are only in a size 3, and just barely at that! by this age, finn was wearing a 5!! it is so funny how small your feet are, especially considering they are as long as they are wide! it is kinda nice, though, because you are able to wear all the shoes that finn wore during his first fall (when he was 6-9 months old, lol!). at least we're gettin' some good use outta' the shoes, eh? ;)
- you cut your first tooth a week and a half ago!!!! hallelujah, praise the heavens above!! that dang tooth has been teasing us for a loooooong time so we are so glad it finally broke through.
- just in the last few days you've started pointing. you also use your thumb and pointer finger to grab things, like a pincer. the dr said thats a good sign, developmentally speaking.
- you've started dancing to music, mostly just by bopping your head back and forth. you get a huge kick out of yourself when you do this, its really cute. :)
- you are a little ball of energy, little dude. you go from one thing to the next, non-stop, during every waking moment of the day. i get exhausted just watching you play! ;)
-you love pulling everything out of the bottom shelves in the pantry (the ones you can reach), and i mean everything. then you put everything that can fit, down the vent that is right there by the pantry. you do this multiple times a day. silly, silly, naughty little boy. ;)
- you're still not walking or even standing really. that's okay, it'll happen when you're ready.
- you take two naps a day and sleep from 8-7:30 or 8 am. dreamy!!
- you love your new carseat! i think you are so much more comfortable sitting upright, and you also love to watch everything that is going on around you.
- i'm worried that you are going to be a defiant little fellow! part of me thinks this is inevitable, because you are already so much like your father. but even as a one-year-old, when you are doing something you're not supposed to (like playing with my wallflowers, the electrical outlets, the ceramic urn with the sticks by the door, etc), i say, "sammy, that's not for sam. no no no." you look at me while i say it, smile, then continue doing it, almost like you think it's so funny. hopefully this is just a normal phase and not a glimpse of what is to come in the future. ;)

your stats at one year old:

weight: 22 lbs 12 oz (49th percentile)
height: 30.5 inches (73rd percentile)
head circ: 45.5 cm (24th percentile)

dr reese said you are healthy as a horse and developing right on track. he didn't seem at all concerned that you aren't walking. he heard you babbling mamama, dada, and even heard you say "boo" while he played peek-a-boo with you. we sure love dr reese. i hope he doesn't have plans on retiring any time soon. :( he, as always, got a big kick outta you, and said that you are a funny little baby.

you are so much fun, my sweet boy, and i love that i get to stay at home with you every day and watch you as you grow and develop. as sad as i am about you growing up so fast, i do look forward to what is in store in this next year. i miss my babies being babies, but each and every phase is so fun and i'm grateful i get to experience it with you.

love you more than you'll ever know. happy ONE year. :)

love,
mom

..tomorrow he is one..

my dear samuel james,

as i sit here on the eve of your first birthday, i can't help but weep at the thought of you turning one. one whole year has gone by since that beautiful day in october when we welcomed you into the world. i should be jumping for joy that we made it a year. that we survived. and while that thought does make me somewhat proud, more than anything i am just so sad at how fast you are growing up on me. i wish i could keep you my baby forever.

sammy, you are such a sweet, spirited boy who brings so much love, happiness and laughter into our home. i always tell people that you are either happy, or sad, and it isn't hard to tell the difference! you are either a ball of giggles and endless smiles, or screaming your head off. haha and although that can sometimes be frustrating (like when we don't know why you are screaming) i love that you are a little person that knows what he wants and just goes for it. you remind me so much of your daddy, sweet boy, and yes, that scares me just a bit, but it also makes my heart smile. i can't wait to see your personality grow and watch the changes that will take place in you in the months and years to come.

you have a big brother who still adores you, even if it is sometimes hard to tell. ;) finn thinks the world of you, and always goes around the house searching for "baby sam." he listens for you when you're napping, and usually hears you before i do, and barges right in your room with a big smile on his face to say hello. no one can put a smile on your face like finn, and that makes me so happy and proud as a mama. your relationship is definitely developing and growing stronger, and i can tell the two of you are going to be the best of friends. a dream come true for me. :)

your dad and i love and adore you more than you'll ever know, dear boy. one of our very favorite things about you is how easy it is to make you smile and laugh. it makes us feel so good, and always brightens our days. we are constantly saying how you just get cuter every day, and how we love watching your personality grow and develop. you are silly, sweet, feisty and easy going, all at the same time. you have an infectious giggle, and a twinkle in your eye. you truly are one-of-a-kind, and we are so grateful to have you in our lives. i've said it before, and i'll say it a million times more, i can't imagine my life, or our family, without you in it. thanks for brightening every day and making this world a better place.

happy ONE year. i love you to the moon and back.

love,
mom

..two and a half..

dear baby finn,

i know you are not a baby anymore, but i still like to think of you as that. it is amazing to me that you are already 2 1/2 years old. it honestly feels like just yesterday that we brought you home from the hospital. it is also amazing how much you have grown and changed in those two and a half years. you've gone from a helpless little baby who depended on his mom and dad for everything, to an independent little toddler, who, for the most part, doesn't need (or want) help with hardly anything. i've absolutely loved watching you grow and learn over these past 30 months, and feel so honored that i get to be along for the ride, experiencing life through your eyes.

you are still my sweet baby boy, that is really the best way to describe you. you are inherently sweet and good. you have your moments when you torture sam, just like i'm sure all big brothers do. you can be mean and nasty to him (and others), but for the most part you are such a little angel. i've said it from the start and it still rings true today, you are an angel baby. you are easy going, mild-mannered. your temper tantrums last a whole 3 minutes most of the time. you are obedient, you follow directions, you are a rule-follower. you remind me so much of me, which scares me a little, but my heart also brims with pride watching you. i love you so much, finn. words could never describe how much.

over the past six months you have grown and learned so much. it is amazing how fast you change. here are some things i want to remember  about you at this  age:

- you started talking (putting sentences together) mid-july, and have talked non-stop ever since. it's like you went from saying nothing, to saying everything. you have us rolling on the ground pretty much the entire day. i'm always calling dad and grandma to tell them the funny things that come out of your mouth. when we aren't rolling on the ground laughing at what you're saying, our jaws are dropped in amazement. you'll repeat things that you heard us say days or weeks ago, and we're always like, "how did he remember that?" this whole talking business is one of my top-2 favorite developmental milestones (the other one was watching you learn to walk).
- you are very possessive of your toys, and since you think sam's toys are yours, your possessive of his too! i'm sure this is normal, but anytime sam picks something you, you instinctively snatch it out of his hand and say, "no baby sam!" we are constantly telling you to give things back to him, and trying our best to teach you the concept of sharing.
- you are very helpful and obedient. you'll do small favors for me, such as getting bottles that are up in your room, while i'm doing the dishes, handing sam a toy or a snack. a few weeks ago we were out jumping on the trampoline. you were getting off the tramp so that you could go inside and get a snack. as you were getting down, i noticed you had a poopy diaper so i said, "finn, while you're inside will you grab a diaper and some wipes so i can change your bum?" i was totally kidding, because there was no part of me that thought you would actually do that! you had been inside for about 5 minutes, and i was about to get off the tramp and come check on you, when low and behold, you walk out the back door holding a diaper and wipes! i was literally shocked, and could not stop laughing. seriously dude, you rock!
- you always want to be doing what we're doing. when i'm vacuuming the house, you grab your vacuum and vacuum with me. when dad is mowing the lawn, you go out and mow the lawn. you love whisking eggs, rolling out pie crusts, putting makeup & deodorant on, brushing your teeth, etc.
- you can count to 12. after that you start to make up numbers. ;)
- you've known your abc's for a while now, and hate it when we try and sing along with you. you'll only do it by yourself.
- some of your favorite songs are twinkle, twinkle little star, i love to see the temple & elmo's world. one day i went to pick you up from nursery, and the leaders said, "finn LOVES 'i love to see the temple.' he knows every word, even better than the leaders do!" i assured them that this is a well-known fact in our house, and that you've been singing it for months. :)
- you are constantly pointing out temples and churches. one day we were down in south jordan, going from house to house in the parade of homes. we were getting close to the oquirrh mountain temple, when all the sudden we hear in the backseat, "wook, da temple!" haha we were so proud. you love driving past the salt lake temple and the capitol building (which we do quite often since you also love going to the mall. ahhh, a kid after my own heart. ;)).
- we have to repeat back to you whatever you say, otherwise you will not stop saying it! this gets really old, really fast. haha
- when you have an owie, we have to kiss it better, then you are all better! it really makes me think that pain is mostly mental, because you'll be screaming, as if you're in excruciating pain, but the second we "piss it better," (as you say!) you are all better. for the most part, anyway.
- you are an extremely polite kid. you always say thank you (we're still working on please). when you're trying to get by me (like in a confined space), you'll say "excuse me mama." haha it is seriously the cutest, sweetest thing ever, and people notice it. the other day at the grocery store, you were holding a balloon that we were going to purchase, so i told you to hand it to the cashier. you did, she scanned it, then handed it back to you and you immediately said "fank you." the cashier didn't hear you, so you said it again! the people in line behind us said, "wow! what a polite kid!!" definitely a proud mom moment. :)
- you get so excited to see sam in the morning and when you wake up from your naps. you'll rush into his room (sometimes when he's still sleeping), and say, "hiiiiiii babee sam, doin'??" (hi baby sam, how ya doin?). it is so sweet. he loves you, and usually gets the biggest grin on his face when he sees you. you are still a little rough with him. i'm sure this is just a boy thing, so i've started to accept it. :)
- you repeat everything we say, and i mean everything! like dad and i will just be having a conversation in the car, and we'll hear you in the backseat, repeating under your breath every thing we're saying. it definitely has made us more aware of what is coming out of our mouths!! ;)
- one day we had some friends come over for a little playgroup. some of the people that came were people that you've never played with before (laura collard, one of her friends, jessica clayton. lindsey & corbin, and chelsey & her boys came too). well when they got here, you got really possessive of your toys. i told you to share, so you let them play with your stuff, but you were noticeably upset about it. you started crying over something, and didn't stop for 20 minutes. so i said, "k finn, we're gonna be out back, come out if you want to play." you stayed inside and kept crying, so i came to check on you about 10 minutes later (30 minutes into our playgroup, mind you). when i got upstairs, i could hear you out in the garage so i went out there. you were trying to open the car door, and when you saw me you said, "come on, let's go, let's go," through your hysterical sobs. haha i told you that we weren't going anywhere, and asked you to come out and play with our friends. you balled "no!" then asked to take a nap!! it was seriously the weirdest thing ever. so i got ya a bottle and laid you down in your bed. you didn't fall asleep (since it was only 11 am) and eventually you came downstairs and watched sesame street on the iPad. as soon as everyone was leaving is when you decided to be your cute, happy self. i'm sure everyone thought you were a strange little duck! lol
- you watch sesame street every morning, and you have at least 2 episodes memorized. you rewind to the same parts over and over and over again, it is really funny.
- we've made attempts at potty-training, but never whole-hearted attempts. maybe once a week you'll wear your undies, and you do pretty good about going pee in the potty. you have no interest in going poo, though. i think it is a matter of just getting down to business and doing it, so maybe we'll give it a real go in the next month or so.
- you talk to a "spirit" in our house, daily. at first, this was a cause for some concern. it all started when grandma, uncle zac and alicia were over for dinner one night. we were eating out on the patio, and you kept saying what sounded like "spirit." zac thought you must be referring to a ghost, but i dismissed that because you've never learned the term spirit in that sense (that i know of anyway!). well a few weeks later, you were standing at the top of the stairs, calling down to the dark basement, and said, "come on spirit, let's go! let's go spirit." whoa, what??? it has been about a month, and you mention it every day usually. i do know we have a ghost in our house (because i have seen it!). i've always thought she was friendly because she's never caused any trouble (just flickers lights, turns your toys on, shuts doors every now and then), so i'm not too concerned about the fact that you can see her. maybe it isn't even her. a lot of people think it could be a family member. whoever this spirit is, i hope it continues to be a friendly one for all our sakes. :)
- you drink 3 sippy cups a day. they have to be in certain sippy's, otherwise you won't drink them.
- you sing certain parts of certain songs on the radio. i love this! it always gives me a chuckle. whenever the pink/nate reuss song comes on, you say, "mom! favorite song!" lol because i used to say, "finn, it's our favorite song!" too cute.
- you are very sensitive and will only do things in front of others if you know you'll succeed at it.
- just in the past month you have totally broken out of your shell and have become extremely friendly. you used to be so shy, and you still have your shy moments, but i've loved watching you become more comfortable with others. a couple weeks ago when we were at grandma & grandpa hansen's house, you were the only kid there and everyone was getting the biggest kick outta you! you would laugh at everyone's jokes, answer the questions they asked you (like, what's your name? how old are you? what is your baby brother's name? etc). david said something that we all laughed at, and you immediately threw your head back and said "haha, dave's so funny." i dropped you off at chelsey's last week so i could run some errands. you didn't cry once, and when i picked you up you were happy as can be, loudly running around, giggling and playing with locke. definite break through! you also love playing with brecken and addison. we went to the zoo with them last week, and the three of you ran from exhibit to exhibit, wrestling, laughing and holding hands. it was really cute.

i'm absolutely loving this age, finn, which is quite surprising since i always heard age 2 is the worst! i honestly think it's just because you are a non-typical, dream child. you were the worlds easiest baby, and are continuing to prove to be the worlds easiest toddler. i love it (although i do worry about how i'll adjust when sam gets to be this age!! you've set the bar so high.). you're my best little friend and my favorite buddy. i look forward to spending every day with you (for the most part) and although there are days when i count down to bedtime, this is still my dream job and i wouldn't change it for the world. i'm so blessed to call myself your mother. thanks for making my job so fun. :)

love,
mom

..september in pictures..

..finn, a little unsure of the big scary thing at comicon..

..trying to get a good family picture is hard work & results in lots of outtakes!..

..sam's first sucker! one slimy, sticky mess!!

..playdate with the collard's & the ayres'. finn needs a baby sister, don't ya think?? ;)..

1) wondering about gollam 2) all ready for the state fair 3) love when i check on sam and his bum is in the air. love it even more when his bum is in the air and an elephant is cuddling/protecting him!!
4) finn brought that block to me and said, "look mom, the capitol." i thought that was pretty creative! 5) after 5 1/2 months pepsi-free, i decided to start drinking again. boy was it delicious! 6) cute finn loves to cheese it up
7) wrong way sam! :0 8) brothers shopping at lowe's 9) happy 5th birthday to my best friend!! love my claustrophobs

..he loves brownie batter, just like his momma!..

..zoo playdate with the phippen's..

..handsome boys in their sunday best..

..having fun at corbin's birthday party. sam made his way into the pool, fully clothed, mind you. finn followed suit. finn loved riding the horse. robby even taught him how the real cowboy's do it (with one hand in the air!!)..

..father son camping trip at strawberry lake w/grandpa, too! finn loved it..

..sam's first trip down the slide. he liked it way too much. this kid is 100% his dad & already has a thirst for adventure!..

..you know it's serious business when his tongue is sticking out! ;)..

..at the park for mccoy's first birthday party..

..finn kept looking up in awe, saying "it's so big!" i also love how sam photo-bombed the pic on the left!..

..a quick visit to the capitol for finn, who talks about it non-stop and points it out, every time we're in salt lake..

..1) state fair fun 2) back to where it all began- logan! just me & lance for usu homecoming 3) refer to post about finn @ 2 1/2 for the story on the diaper and wipes out on the trampoline.
4) sam looking like such a big boy in his new carseat! 5) my crazy boys at target. finn was running the aisles like a crazy person. sam figured out how to wiggle his way out of the buckle, turn around & stand up. crazy kids!! 6) an evening family walk/bike ride. finn is getting so good on his balance bike!
7) cutie pie finn 8) me & finn on the ferris wheel @ scheels. finn loved it! 9) sam's first tooth finally cut through!!..