today you are 4 months old. four months old. i could pour my heart out about how sad this makes me, but i'll spare you the dramatics and just say wow, time flies and yes, it breaks my heart. i wish you could stay a baby forever. i really am so serious.
from the day you came into this world, you have had your mama wrapped around your tiny finger. tears fill my eyes as i look back on the past four months, and think of all the love and light your presence has brought to our home. you are such a ray of sunshine, my sweet sweet boy. what did we ever do without you?
people had me worried about baby #3. the game changer and the big adjustment. that is what everyone said you'd be. i prepared myself for a bumpy ride but it has not been that way at all. as with each baby that joins our family, changes are made to accommodate the newest addition. schedules are moved around, sleep becomes a thing of the past, as does any time for myself. but the sacrifices made pale in comparison to the added measure of love you bring.
as a young girl, i always looked forward to this time in my life. when i would be a young wife and mother, spending my days taking care of babies and raising children. i always assumed it would be the happiest time of my life. and as i sit here, thinking about the happiness you and your brothers bring me, the reality of this time in my life far outweighs those adolescent dreams. i mean, how lucky am i, that all my dreams have come true beyond every expectation?
don't get me wrong, i am usually at my wits end by bedtime every day. i yell way more than i wish i did and on the worst of days i am ready to commit myself to a mental institution. either that or ship your brothers off to a traveling circus. dad said that every time i call him, i spend more time saying "stop that! be quiet! keep your hands to yourself! stop crying! ugghhhhh they are driving me craaaazzzy!" than i do actually talking to him. but in the quiet moments that come and go all too quickly, the spirit calms my heart and reminds me that this is a time in my life that i'll be longing to relive years from now. you are only a baby for a short time, so i am doing all i can to cherish this precious time.
it is no secret to anyone how much i love you. you are the sweetest baby. so good-natured and easy going. when people come over, almost all of them say, "is he always this good?" as long as you aren't too tired or too hungry you are happy as a clam. you remind me so much of finn in that way. you smile at anyone who smiles at you. that reminds me of your big brother sam. you are a mamas boy through and through, and nothing makes me happier. i have always wanted one of those!
at four months old you.....
-sit up well in your bumbo
-laugh when tickled
-nurse every 1.5-2 hours (it's a lucky day if we make it 3) but you are so fast. done in 5 minutes.
-took a bottle like a champ. i have nursed you exclusively your whole life - you had one bottle back in october and another one mid-december and that's it. but lately you've seemed so small to me, and you have been fussier than normal, and never seem satisfied after nursing, which leads me to wonder if you are hungry? so i made you a bottle of formula, just sure you wouldn't take it, especially if i was the one feeding you. but you guzzled it.
-still aren't on a great schedule. getting sick + the holidays + the 4 month sleep regression totally threw you off and we are still trying to figure things out. last night you slept 11 hours but that was the first time in weeks! hopefully we can get things figured out soon.
-are somewhat terrified of sam, but when he is being soft and gentle you love him.
-looooove finn. you just sit and smile and talk to him and it makes my mama heart so happy.
-moved from your rocker by my bedside, to your rocker in my closet, and finally to your crib in your very own room. this was very bittersweet for me, and most nights i long to have you back at my bedside. but none of us were sleeping very well - you were waking up more often than you had been, and i think it's because as you're getting older, you can't block out the sound as well. so even when we were being as quiet as we could be, you'd still wake up ready to party. you have done pretty well in your own room, so that's great. but i do miss you being so close to me at all hours of the day.
-have strong legs, and can stand (while we are holding your hands, of course) for minutes at a time.
-blow lots of bubbles and suck your pointer & middle finger when your binki isn't near by.
-have a firm grip.
-don't love your carseat. you've been the first of my babies that won't sleep in the carseat for hours at a time. this is somewhat of a challenge since we are in and out of the house so much.
-don't love church. haha it is the only time of the week that you get pretty fussy.
-are getting close to rolling from your back to your stomach.
-don't like tummy time.
-like to be swaddled suuuuuuper tight and definitely seem to sleep best that way.
at your doctor appointment today we found out that you are just a tiny little baby, but you are healthy and despite your small size, you are growing beautifully.
weight: 12 lbs 6 oz - 8th percentile
height: 25 inches - 55th percentile
head circ.: i forgot :)
i could eat you up i love you so!
love,
mom
