my dear baby gus,
how can it be that you are ONE year old? this past year flew by in a blink of an eye. the way they all seem to do. it's like they say, the days are long but the years are short. and that has never been more true for me than it was this year.
you bring such a tremendous amount of joy into my life, sweet boy. i feel so incredibly attached to you, in a way that i haven't been to your big brothers. of course i love all three of you so equally, but my love for each of you is different, most likely because you are all so different. such individual spirits who my soul just recognizes and loves so unconditionally. when you are in pain, i am in pain. when you are happy, my heart is happy. i think that line from les mis rings so true and resonates now more than it ever has before in my life - "to love another person is to see the face of god." i don't think i've ever felt closer to my savior and heavenly father than i have in this past year. relying on their tender mercies to pick me up when times got tough. getting even just the slightest glimpse of what they must feel, watching down on us in this mortal experience. being a mama ain't always easy, but has always been my greatest joy and accomplishment in life.
generally speaking, you are a very happy, laid-back, easy-going babe. you prefer mom, but love dad, grandma and your brothers. you freak out (and i mean freak out) if anyone with dark dark hair gets in your face. it is kind of comical, but i also feel bad for you and the person who was just trying to say hi. ;) you could laugh at sam all day long (as long as he's not toughing you) , and when finn isn't mauling you with hugs & kisses, he brings a calming presence to you. you watch your older brothers and are so fascinated by them and i know in a matter of time you will be one of them. the three musketeers. it makes my heart happy just thinking about it.
you have just barely (like just in the past couple weeks) taken a real liking to solid foods and are just getting to the point where you'll try table foods. you love your bottle, maybe a little too much?! haha i switched you to cow's milk a couple weeks ago, and while you downed it like it was nobody's business, it has caused some terrible constipation. it has been heart-breaking to watch you struggle to poo, especially considering you were the child that had a blowout every freakin' day for 10 months! the other day you were just laying on the floor with your head down, trying so so hard to push it out. it broke my heart. we've tried giving you juice, feeding you lots of apples, and finally resorted to miralax. it has been helping a little, but i can still tell that you are uncomfortable. hopefully your body adjusts soon.
you still don't have any teeth, but i think your bottom two are getting ready to cut through. they say that the longer they take to come in, the healthier the teeth are, so i'm hoping you'll have some dang good teeth.
you look just like finn did when he was a baby, but slightly different, if that makes any sense?! i think your features are a bit more petite than his, and you are quite a bit smaller than either of your big brothers were, so maybe you'll just be a mini-finn you're whole life? ;)
we had a big ol' birthday party for you tonight up at the church park. you had so many friends and family members there to support you and celebrate you on your big day! you are one lucky and loved little guy, mister gus, and i hope as you grow you'll never forget that.
i am so grateful for the opportunity i've been given to be your mom. you make me happier than you could ever know, and i don't know what we'd ever do without you.
happy birthday, baby boy!
love,
mom
