in the weeks and months leading up to finn's last day of school, i found myself in tears almost every time i picked him up. just hearing him talk about what he's been learning, how much fun he's had with all his little friends, the ways he responds to and respect his teachers...i just couldn't bear the thought that soon that would all be over for him. he has learned and grown so incredibly much these past two years at candyapple cove. it's always interesting to look back in retrospect, and see how things just work out the way they are supposed to. i actually had finn registered for a different preschool - one that came highly recommended and seemed like a great fit. we had paid the registration fee and everything, but then my friend laura told me about a school close to her home (and not far from the school finn was already registered at) and for some reason i just felt more inclined to go with that school. finn would have a friend in class (minnie), i liked the schedule better and so i paid another registration fee and signed him up for candyapple cove.
fall rolled around and i was days away from having gus but as you might recall, i kept that little breech turd inside (jokes, jokes) because the thought of missing my first baby's first day of preschool was out of the question. that first day was just as joyful and devastating as i thought it would be - your first little bird, out of the nest and learning how to fly. finn loved preschool from the very first day, which was somewhat surprising to me. i thought he'd have a little more separation anxiety, but he never did. his teacher, miss nikole, is probably the sweetest lady on the planet. one of those people who you can just see is fulfilling her calling in life and doing a tremendous job at it. finn was a little stinker at the time when it came to social skills. we're talking he didn't have any. he's always been a pretty mild mannered dude, but he just didn't know how to share, didn't understand why we can't push and hit and spit. he wasn't horrible or anything, but i'd catch him doing any number of those things and try and discipline him and would just fall up short. it's like i couldn't get through to him, and really i think he just plain didn't understand. about halfway through the year, one day when miss nikole was putting him in the car she said, "i just love finn so much, he is so much fun. he was one of my harder kids in the beginning but he's turned into one of the best." that made my mama heart swell with so much pride, and i felt like i had my good-natured kid back on track. god bless preschool teachers!
well that first year ended, but it wasn't sad because we both knew he would be coming back in the fall. most of the same kids would be in his class again, he'd have miss nikole as his teacher on wednesdays and miss tammy as his teacher on monday's and friday's. those last few weeks of summer were long ones for him, i could tell he was so ready and so excited to get back to school. and truth be told, i was so ready for him to go back. we just function better with a schedule to follow, know what i mean? also, two kids is easier than three, especially when it comes to grocery shopping! ;)
finn loved preschool just as much this year, maybe even more. that first year it seemed like they focused mostly on social skills, as they should and i'm so glad they did because that was the main reason i had him in preschool. this year they did a lot of learning. learning numbers and letters and shapes and colors. i don't think i even realized how much he has been learning until the graduation program! he knows most of the alphabet in sign language, he can recognize every single one of his letters and knows the sounds they make. he can recite poems and sing songs. he knows the pledge of allegiance. he's just become one smart kid i tell ya! such a relief, because about a year ago i bought alphabet flash cards and spent at least 30 minutes one day trying to teach him a, b, & c. well after that 30 minutes i held up the letter a, asked him what it was and he said 4. this happened multiple times over the course of a few days, at which point i gave up! haha it seemed hopeless, yet so frustrating. I've come to realize that all kids learn at their own pace, and i think some kids need someone other than mom teaching them certain things. whatever miss tammy and miss nikole do, works, or at least it worked for finn, and i will always be so indebted to them for that.
about a week before his last day, i decided a graduation bbq with this classmates was in order. somehow it all came together just in time - i had invitations made and printed so they could be passed out the friday before graduation. i spent my weekend crafting up a storm - mostly to keep myself busy so i wouldn't scare my family with my hysterical crying! sad, but true. i got a lot of rsvp's and people offering to help with the food and all systems were a go. the monday before school ended, i was a total wreck! cried every second of the day, lost it when miss tammy put him in the car that day, bawled my eyes out to ellie when she came to chat while the kids were getting buckled. like i said, i know some of it has got to be pregnancy hormones, but really i think i'd have been a mess either way! i kept telling everyone who would listen that i was mostly just sad that he won't be going to school with most of the same kids next year. besides krew, the rest of his little buds will all be going to different schools. and i know he will make new friends. i know that he doesn't understand and might not even remember these same kids come fall and the start of kindergarten. do i remember most of the kids i went to preschool with? no. but i know finn, and i know that first day of school this fall, he will get in the car and tell me that evan and sam and ronan and minnie and charlotte and nora aren't in his class. and that thought just breaks my heart. these kids have had such a huge impact on his life, just by being themselves and being his friend, and i'm so thankful to them and their parents. thank goodness sam is going to candyapple cove next year, otherwise saying goodbye to his teachers would have been a whole other level of heartbreak for me to deal with.
wednesday the 25th rolled around and i held it together for the most part. finn got all dressed up for school, and was wondering why he had to wear church clothes to school! haha i told him we dress nice for important occasions, and this definitely qualified as important. when miss tammy came and got him from the car, she said, "oh my gosh finn, you look so handsome!" and after she shut the door, i could hear her gushing even more over what a little gentlemen he was. that was hard for me to drive away, knowing it was the last time her or miss nikole would ever come and get my handsome finn from the car.
an hour later we were back and ready to watch their program. it was the cutest thing i have ever seen, and the videos i have from it are ones i will cherish forever. finn knew all the words to all the poems, and all the words and actions to all the songs. he performed them better than i ever imagined he would, and was so confident and proud sitting up there. tears were definitely rolling, but i wasn't nearly as hysterical as i thought i would be. i realized that the main reason i have been so emotional is because i am just so dang proud of how much he's grown and the little person he is and is becoming. he is a good kid, with a good heart and a good head on his shoulders. laura told me that one day someone was being mean to minnie, and finn stuck up for her so now she tells laura she loves finn and is going to marry him. haha so i asked finn about it, and he said that there's a kid in class who is sometimes mean to him, or evan, or minnie, and so finn will say to that kid "stop being mean." he kind of just told me this story nonchalantly, like he has no idea what an amazing quality that is, but i know, and i hope he will always be that way, sticking up for the underdog. he really just is at such a fun age right now - smart, willing to help, for the most part nice to his little brothers. it will be hard for me to send him off to kindergarten next year, because i sort of just want to keep him all to myself. i'm scared for what the world will do to my innocent, kind-hearted, good-natured little boy. i guess i just have to hope that what he's learned so far, and the qualities i continue to try and instill in him, will be enough to get him through all the bad stuff that is out there.
i know there is a special place in heaven reserved for preschool teachers (the good ones, anyway) and i know miss nikole and miss tammy will be there. they are amazing women who i know have loved my child like their own, and taken better care of him than i could have ever asked for or expected. thank goodness sam will benefit from their wisdom and love for hopefully the next two years. and fingers crossed gus and ollie will follow their big brothers footsteps and become candyapple cove graduates one day.
to my finn, i love you more than you will ever know! you are one amazing kiddo and although it breaks my heart a little, i can't wait to see all the places you'll go because i know you will go far.
