i feel so terrible for neglecting this blog. there are many times throughout the days and weeks when i think to myself, i really should start documenting our life better. but then time has this funny way of escaping and it's all i can manage just to make it through the day doing the bare necessities and before i know it, it has been 6 months since i last wrote anything down. oh dear.
life is pretty sweet right now. crazy. hectic. exhausting. overwhelming. stressful. but when you get right down to it, so so sweet and i just know i will look back years from now and long to go back to this time in our life, even if just for a moment.
Finn
finn is 5 and a half years old and really turning into a wonderful young boy. he is so so thoughtful - always concerned about me and his brothers. he comes up to me several times throughout the day and hugs me, kisses my belly and says, "i love you baby ollie. love you too mom." it is enough to melt me into a puddle. he is very protective of his little brothers, and not a day goes by where i question why he came to our family first. he was meant to be the biggest brother, i am positively sure of it. he is so helpful and although i know i shouldn't do this, he can totally be bribed (or guilted) into helping me with something those rare times he doesn't want to. him and sam have been sharing a room for almost a year now, and it has totally transformed and strengthened their relationship. if one of them is sick and we make them sleep in separate rooms, they both get so sad (and scared!) and beg to let the other sleep with them. they go through spurts where they even share the same bed, and it just melts my mama heart.
finn has absolutely loved kindergarten, and i have loved watching him learn and grow. he plays with the girls at recess, because he's a "grill man" (girl man...aka ladies man). it's cute but kinda scary so lately i've been encouraging him to play with boys also. every morning when i drop him off he runs to his line, then waves furiously at me saying "bye mom, i love you!" i love that he has no shame in doing this in front of all his little friends, and hope and pray he'll want to express his love like that always. fat chance, i know! but a mom can dream, eh? and then when i go to pick him up, he requests that i get out of the car and meet him. he runs to me and gives me the biggest hug as we walk back to the car together. see what i mean? this kid is a keeper.
he is still my obedient, reasonable, mild-mannered kid, and i know i'll go my whole life wondering what i did to deserve such a great kid. one story i never want to forget... a couple months ago we were having a rough day. no one was listening and i was so frustrated, i told finn and sam i wouldn't help them get ready for their naps, they'd have to go downstairs and put themselves to bed. well i went downstairs about 10 minutes later, totally expecting for them to be playing, and peeked into sam's room to find finn helping sam put his pull-up on. it was one of the sweetest, most rewarding things i've ever experienced, to see my two big boys helping each other out. times like that make the craziness of having them so close together worth it. i hope and pray that they will be there for each other and be best friends for life.
Sam
sam just turned 4 and is as crazy as ever! in fact, at his 4 year well child check yesterday i asked the doctor if it's normal that he still has temper-tantrums and hits and pushes and says mean things and the doctor laughed and said, "i sure hope so because i've got one of them at home too." that made me feel a little better. although he can be challenging at times (most of the time) sam has such a great energy and spirit about him, and everyone who knows him loves him! just today his preschool teacher told me that she just loves him and thinks he's the cutest. and he is! when he isn't being naughty. haha the other day my mom took him on the heber creeper train ride for his birthday, and he told her "i used to fight with my brother finn, but i don't fight with him much anymore because i love my finnjamin." lol and it's true, they fight a lot less. probably because he's directed all his negative energy toward gus! those two fight non-stop. all sam has to do is look at gus and gus starts screaming and running away. haha sibling rivalry at its finest. the two of them have a very sweet relationship too, and those rare times when they aren't fighting over toys (mostly trains) they are playing so cute together.
sam started preschool this fall, and he is really loving it. it wasn't quite as easy to get him to go as it was with finn. in finn's two years of preschool, and this year with kindergarten, never once has it been a fight to get him to go. sam fought going for about a month. it was never a huge struggle, but when it got time to get dressed in the morning, he'd say he didn't want to go, and wouldn't change his mind until i was walking out the door to take finn to school. but he absolutely loves it when he's there. he has his best little friend, kohen, in school with him, plus i have a couple other friends who have their kids in the same school. his teacher is miss nikole (who taught finn his first year, and then one day a week his second year) and she is the sweetest lady on the planet. when i go to pick him up, i just have to shake my head and laugh because sam is always in everyone's face, waving his bag or hugging them or trying to tackle them. we've recently picked up on the fact that his love language is touch...quite obvious now that we've figured it out because he always (ALWAYS) touching everyone.
over the last month or so, i've really seen some changes and improvements in him (not counting this last week, when he's been a complete nightmare). the other day at dinner finn wanted some more bacon, but it was all gone, and without being asked or told or hinted in the slightest, sam (who is bacon's number one fan) tore off half of his piece of bacon and said, "here you go finn." again, one of those sweet sweet moments when all the hard work of the past 4 years seems to be paying off. he is very sweet, and very loving when he wants to be. but i think that's the key when it comes to sam - it all has to be his idea. he's not one to be forced, i think he gets that from his dad. and his mom. haha no wonder he's so stubborn.
Gus
gus is two and the cutest little man you'll ever meet. i told lance the other day that we hit the trifecta with gus - he's the best looking, has the cutest personality and is the most even-tempered. he is just so easy. most of the time! haha he's definitely dabbling in that terrible two stuff, and i have a feeling it's bound to get worse once baby brother arrives. for now though, i just cannot get enough of my sweet gus. he is talking so much these days, and it melts my heart. my favorite thing he says is "thank you," which really doesn't even sound much like thank you haha but i just love that he's so polite. yesterday when we were eating breakfast he said "go away, sam!" and even though i probably shouldn't encourage it, i couldn't help but laugh. he is so silly, and so so sweet. when he is sad, or frustrated, or after he's gotten in trouble, he'll come over to me and say "hug, hug" and reach his arms up for a hug. he's very sensitive (maybe my most sensitive) and completely shuts down when he gets in trouble. he hangs his head low and gives you a nasty stare down, letting you know you hurt his feelings. he loves both of his big brothers so much, and follows them around the house, wanting to do whatever they are doing. he can definitely hold his own with them (with sam i should say) and is by far our toughest kid.
he is addicted as ever to his binki. heaven help us when we have to take that thing away! he still requests a bottle for nap and bedtime. heaven help us there too. and he looooooves his giraffe and two blankets. he has recently become obsessed with cars and trucks and mostly trains. yes, we have two train lovers in the family! so far it hasn't been a huge problem, although sam does occasionally get pretty possessive over a track he's building or one of his trains. gus loves to ride around the garage on the wiggle car, and is the biggest fan of the side-by-side. i think he's got adventure in his blood, which is terrifying but so cute.
we moved him to a big-boy bed the beginning of august, and he has done so incredibly well in it. he was by far our easiest kid to transition to a big-boy bed, but why would that surprise me? he's the easiest with everything. i am so, sooooo attached to him, and love every moment i get to spend with him. i'm actually getting really nervous and sad at the thought of how everything is bound to change once ollie gets here. speaking of ollie, if i ask him if he's excited to be a big brother and meet ollie, he either points to his belly lol or comes over to me, lifts my shirt up and kisses my belly. i can't wait to see him as a big brother. i have a feeling he'll be really sweet, just because that is his nature. but i guess it could go the other way and he might just hate him. haha
lance is as busy as ever with work, which is such a blessing. sometimes a huge pain haha but i try not to be too negative about it. we have been so fortunate to have all this work, and i sure appreciate how hard he works to provide such a nice life for us. he loves his kids more than anything, and is the best dad i could have ever hoped for. i think part of it is because he's a kid-at-heart himself, which makes him so fun to be around. if ever i start to feel sad about the fact that we'll never have a daughter, i just think about what an awesome boy dad lance is, and it all makes sense to me why we only have boys. he loves taking them camping and fishing, he likes to show them how to fix stuff. he loves watching movies with them and taking them to movies. he's so hands-on and for that i'm so grateful.
this pregnancy has been my toughest yet. physically, mentally and emotionally. i don't know if it is because i'm older, or because i have three kids, or because it's my fourth pregnancy. or maybe i just haven't taken care of myself the way i should? i have been so tired, and so stressed, and so grumpy and awful to be around, i'm sure. i'm sure because lance tells me haha. needless to say, i am ready to meet this babe in my belly. i hope he knows how much i love him. how much we all love him. and how grateful we are that he chose to come to us. t-12 days till we get to meet the little fella. lets hope it goes by fast!
xoxo
becky
