..week in review..

this past week has been craaaaazzzy. the aftermath of a party is never as fun as getting ready for it, and this past week in particular sorta gave me a run for my money.

gus' blessing was perfect and went off without a hitch! so much fun having everyone over at our house to celebrate our little man. i still sometimes have to pinch myself when i think about the fact that i have three kids. how did that happen? not literally, geez get your head outta the toilet. no "potty talk" as finn would call it. ;) although there probably are some people who'd argue that maybe we actually don't know how it happens?! insert smiley face crying emoji. ;)

i digress. but like for real, it seems like it was just yesterday i was pregnant with finn, doesn't it? and here we are, four years later with three kids. holy smokes. and this may come out wrong, but sometimes i'm so amazed at how much i love and am loving gus! sounds bad, huh? but i just mean that he's my third boy. you'd think i'd know all there is to know about loving boys and be bored with it by now. but i'm not! i think {most days} i am enjoying him more than i did the other two - and i really reallllllly enjoyed the other two! what can i say, i just love kids. and babies. i cry at the thought that i may only have one more? or maybe not any? i want more, from the bottom of my heart. but i've been loving and enjoying gus so much that it worries me that he's my last. you know, like the lord is helping me get the most out of it since it's the last time i'll do it. :( i sincerely hope and pray daily that's not the case. however, if it is, i am grateful i've enjoyed it as much as i have.

that brings me to another thing that has been on my mind lately - i'm so paranoid. it seems like it's getting worse with age. my dad was so paranoid when i was a kid, and my mom was so easy going. i've always thought i'd be somewhere in the middle. and in some ways i am pretty easy going, but in other ways i so am not, and i definitely find myself worrying about things that i maybe shouldn't. for instance, when i have those thoughts that gus is my last baby, i start thinking about why? i mean, we haven't had any problems conceiving our kids. like zero problems haha. and we both, okay mostly me, want at least one more kid. so why would gus be my last? i always come to the conclusion that i'm gonna get cancer and die or lance is gonna die in a snowmobile accident. ;( these thoughts are debilitating, they are starting to affect my sanity and daily life! i don't know what to do about it. the other day i had cramps all day and immediately my brain goes to "you might have colon cancer." also, we're trying to get gus in his own room and the only room that is available is in the basement, but i'm too scared to let him sleep down there because what if a spider crawled in his mouth and he choked?? i never had paranoid thoughts like this with my other kids. wtf is going on in my head people?!?!

earlier this week we were at dinner with my mom, when she had one of her "choking" episodes. i don't know if you'd call it choking, because i don't think the food actually gets stuck in her throat, but her airway closes off and it's like she can't breath. this happens to her every now and then, and it seems like it has been happening more often lately and getting progressively worse, but it has never been as bad as it was the other night. i was such a wreck! and one of the most important things when it happens is to stay calm but holy freaking shiz balls, how does one stay calm witnessing this?!? i eventually called 911 but only after 25 minutes of waiting for it to pass. why did i wait so long??? it finally passed as i was on the phone with 911 giving them our address. prayers were answered, that's for sure. it was one of the scariest things i've witnessed and left me in a pretty hysterical state. my mom is pretty stubborn and refused to go to the hospital. she promised she would see a doctor about it though, and has an appointment for this week. fingers crossed they can figure out what's wrong and fix it, because i need my mom. at one point that night i yelled at her (when she refused to go to the ER)  "YOU ARE ONLY THINKING ABOUT YOURSELF HERE, WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITHOUT MY MOM?? WHAT ARE MY KIDS GONNA DO WITHOUT THEIR GRANDMA?!?" oh man. it was a bad night.

completely unrelated to that event, sam locked us in his bedroom yesterday. insert rosy-cheeked embarrassed emoji. we took off his doorknob the other week when we switched him to a toddler bed. he has been doing fine in his bed, but we still don't trust that he won't come out in the night so we've kept the doorknob off. bad idea. i went in there yesterday to get him ready for a nap. he came running in behind me and slammed the door shut. gus was in his swing downstairs. i tried to stay calm but as soon as i heard gus cry i started panicking. i rolled down sam's window and started calling outside "HELP! HELP! HELLO?? HELP!" haha finally laurie webster came out and answered my cries for help. lol unfortunately all the doors and windows to the house were locked. :( lance was in a movie with finn and wasn't answering the phone. gus' cries were getting louder so i did the only thing left, knelt down and said a prayer. or maybe i just said a silent one? anyhow, i don't know why it was the last thing i did? i should learn by now that it needs to be the first thing i do. but sometimes i feel like i ask for his help too much? like whenever i think to myself "just say a prayer" that thought is quickly followed by "why do you need so much help, can't you figure it out on your own?" as i type that out it's so obvious - the devil is trying to stop my from praying. my testimony of the power of prayer has been strengthened a hundred fold since becoming a mom. so many prayers are answered daily. it's incredible and i'm forever thankful for it. so i said a prayer, then remembered lance saying that if you ever get locked in the room, all you need is a screwdriver to stick in the little hole and it will get you out. well we didn't have a screwdriver in there, but there was this metal ornament thing i made last year, spelling out sam's name. i got that, stuck it in the hole and voila! the door opened. another prayer answered. gus was fine, and sam thought the whole ordeal was hysterical. you can bet i put him to bed immediately after.

as i sit and think about it, i really have grown (in some ways)  these past 3 1/2 years because remember when i locked myself out of the house with finn inside when he was a baby? he was a month old i believe and safely buckled in his carseat. and lets not forget that finn was the worlds most chill baby. i somehow locked myself out and my solution for getting inside was to break a window! hahaha in my defense, it was a window with a crack in it that was going to be replaced the next day, but lance almost died of shock when i told him what i did. we still found shards of glass in that room (the office) up until the day we moved. lol. so i'm pretty proud of myself for not resorting to breaking the door this time, although i can't say the thought didn't cross my mind.

the week wasn't all bad though. in fact, i feel in retrospect it is never as bad as it seems at the time and i probably need to learn to get through the bad times without letting it ruin my day. we had some bad moments, yes, but also so many good ones you know? and i do feel like i'm getting better at recognizing that and not letting the down's affect my whole day and outlook. lance surprised me with my christmas present monday morning, which was a great start to the week! a new lap-top! insert a thousand exclamation points. i told him a month or two ago that wanted a laptop because i'm too lazy to sit at the actual computer to blog or do anything that would be easier to do on the computer versus my phone. i seriously never use the computer anymore. partly because it is upstairs, right in between the boys' rooms, and the only time i have to use it is while they're napping and i can't use it then because it might wake them up. also i like to lay in bed while they're napping and catch up on my beauty rest, so basically i just never use it. also, with the internet on my phone, i find myself needing a computer less and less. but one thing i've really missed this past year is documenting our lives. that's the main person of this blag, and i really slacked this year. partly because we were in the middle of building a house and moving and also partly because i was pregnant and lazy. but now that we've moved and i'm not pregnant or as lazy, i decided it was time to be better about writing on here because i know i'll look back and want to remember our days and weeks and the good and the bad and the milestones and memories and events and even just the little day-to-day things that have happened and are happening at this time in our lives. it is such a magical one, and i am absolutely loving being a stay-at-home mom to my three crazy boys. so back to the whole point of this paragraph, lance surprised me with the laptop and look at me, already blogging again! whoop whoop!! needless to say, it was a gooooooood surprise. one of the best. lance was so excited to give it to me, he couldn't even wait til christmas. i'm sure glad he didn't.

also, we celebrated six years of marital happiness on the 10th. crazy we've only been married six years, right? ;) haha in some ways it feels like much longer and in other ways it's gone by in the blink of an eye. it may sound cliche, but i really do feel my love for lance growing with the years. i am grateful for the hard working man he is and for all he does to provide a nice life for me and the boys. we are incredibly blessed, and i am so thankful to my heavenly father for all the work and opportunities for work he has provided lance with these past six years. i'm also thankful for the loving father lance is to our kids. he's their favorite, far and wide. there is no competition really. they just love him so much, and i love seeing their relationships grow and their bonds strengthened. he does so much for us, and i never seem to give him enough credit. we have had our lows, there's no trying to sugar-coat it here, but i feel we have grown stronger each passing year and i hope and pray we will always have the strength and desire to weather the storms life brings. lance is the bees knees, and i'm so grateful to have scored such a keeper!

anyhow, this post has been in terrible form so i'm just going to stop before i add another run on sentence.

goodbye.

..christmas pictures..

we did a "mini session" with the talented paige davis last weekend, and i love how the pictures turned out. i learned pretty quickly to keep my expectations low when it comes to pictures of the boys - their ages + attention spans + different personalities don't always equate for the most perfect pictures but i love that they always seem to accurately depict them and our lives right now. :)

..blessed..

my dear sweet gus,

what a wonderful day today was! surrounded by all the people we love, and who in turn love you, you were given a name and a blessing by your dad. it was a day full of love, and one i will remember for a long time.

it was a little bittersweet blessing you in our new ward. so far i have loved our new ward, and everyone we have met, but if i'm being honest, i still miss the woods cross 7th ward. that is where both of your big brothers were blessed, and it still feels a little strange each sunday not to attend church there. however, we have felt very welcomed and at home in the dry creek ward, and your blessing really solidified those feelings for me. it's a wonderful thought to think that this is the ward we will {hopefully} spend a very long time in, and i love that all our new friends from the neighborhood were there to witness you being blessed. i hope that in many years to come, they will talk about how they watched you grow from the day you were born. :)

my heart is never as full as it is on a blessing day. seeing everyone set aside their busy sunday schedules, finding people to fill in for them in their wards so they can show up to our ward and support us on such an important day - it means the world to me. i was a little worried that some wouldn't come since they didn't know how to get to our house, or maybe that others wouldn't come because they had already seen our house, but almost everyone we invited came. the chapel and our home were filled to the brim, but i wouldn't have it any other way.

dad was a nervous wreck sunday morning, rehearsing in his head the things he wanted to say. i, in turn, felt very at peace sunday morning. normally i am running around like a chicken with her head cut off the day of a party, but thanks to grandma's help and getting some things done ahead of time, i didn't feel rushed our stressed at all. i still had butterflies in my stomach - maybe sympathy nerves for dad?! haha let's just chalk it up to excitement. you have brought such an added measure of love and joy into our home, and i was so excited to spend the day celebrating you!

your blessing was beautiful, and there was a very strong spirit in the room. dad was so choked up in the beginning that he almost couldn't speak. i said a quick prayer before and during, for heavenly father to help dad, and i feel it was answered very quickly. there was no denying that the spirit was working through him, helping him bless you with those things you may stand in need of in this life.

"Our Dear Heavenly Father, by the authority of the Holy Melchezedik Priesthood which we hold, we take this infant into our arms to give him a name and a blessing. The name we have chosen for him and that he shall be known for throughout this life and on the records of the church is August Keller Powell. Gus, we bless you with a desire to gain a testimony of the gospel and that you will serve a full-time mission when you are of the appropriate age. We bless you with a thirst for knowledge and a desire to gain a good education. We bless you that when the time is right you will find a worthy companion to take to the temple and be sealed to for time and all eternity. We bless you with good health and a strong body so that you may be able to fulfill all the callings that you are appointed here on Earth. We bless you that in times of difficulty you will have the strength to choose the right. Gus you are blessed with two older brothers who adore you and we pray that you will follow their example. We bless you that you will set a good example for your friends and your siblings and that you will follow the path which our Heavenly Father has set for you. Gus, we bless you to always be aware of the love that your family has for you. Your mother and I love you more than you will ever know. These things we ask our Heavenly Father to bless you and any other blessings He sees fit. We say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

{transcribed by my cousin, heidi hansen}

he did an incredible job, and i couldn't have been more proud. you, my dear, also did amazing. i must say, i was a bit nervous that you would be wide awake and start screaming haha but you slept peacefully through the entire blessing. you also didn't have a blow out, which is another thing i felt grateful for. :) the circle consisted of so many people who we love so much, and i know they love you and your dad as well: dad, grandpa hansen, grandpa powell, ben clark, dave mcconnel, mike ferrell, dan walker, micah platt, zach spencer, robby nelsen, randy osborne, dallin crane, and the members of the dry creek bishopric.

i bore my testimony in sacrament, and heidi was wonderful enough to send me a copy of that as well. i don't know how she does it! for the sake of documentation and also so i have it to look back on, i am posting that here as well:

"For those of you I haven’t met yet, I’m Becky Powell and we’re so grateful to be in this ward. I just wanted to stand and bear my testimony that I know this church is true. I am so thankful for the Book of Mormon, it’s always been the foundation of my testimony. I feel like it’s gotten me through all the difficult times in my life. Since becoming a mom I have really gained a strong testimony of the power of prayer. There have been many times, as I’m sure you can all relate to as a mother, where all that is really left is to get down on your knees and pray for help, or wisdom, or whatever you feel you stand in need of. I feel that my Heavenly Father has answered those many times right as I’ve needed them. I’m grateful for the gift and blessing it is to be a mother and for the joy that my three little boys have [brought] to my life and to our home. I’m thankful to be married to a worthy priesthood holder who is able to bless our little boy. I’m grateful to be a member of this church and for all the family and friends that are here to support us today. I look forward to getting to know many of you. I would just like to bear my testimony of the knowledge I have, the truth of the restored gospel, of our Savior, and the gift of His atoning sacrifice. I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen."

after sacrament we had everyone over for lunch. clam chowder and broccoli cheddar soup in bread bowls, a caesar salad, veggie tray, candy and swig cookies for dessert. it was delicious, if i do say so myself. i was worried that not everyone would fit comfortably in our home, but was pleasantly surprised that it didn't feel too crowded at all. our friends seemed comfortable in the basement, where the girls sat at the table we set up to eat while the boys sat on the couch watching football. all of the kids were running between the backyard and the playroom. our family who had never been to our house before went on little tours and many sat comfortably at the kitchen table.

you were a little angel baby all day, as you were passed around from person to person. you were content to be in anyones arms, either sleeping or being your flirty little self. i think you especially enjoyed getting to know your grandpa jimbob a little more - we sat by him during sacrament and you just sat there and smiled and talked to him for at least half the meeting. :)

i hope as you grow, you will always know of the love that so many have had for you since the day you were born. you are one lucky little dude, to be surrounded by so many supportive and loving people. you truly have been such a gift to our family, gus, and i thank the lord daily for the role you play in our lives. i am so lucky, blessed, and honored to call you my baby boy. i could eat you up, i love you so. :)

love,
mom

..annual friend christmas party 2014..

tonight was our annual college friends christmas party, and this year it was hosted by the amazing and talented kristin walker! it was a night filled with good food, good friends, good conversations and good fun. ;)

i would say the highlight of the night was seeing sam freak out when santa showed up, but hey, that's just me. does that make me a terrible mom? this was the second time he's seen santa this year, and let's just say it gets worse each time. haha we were all rolling on the floor laughing. figuratively and literally. it was bad!

i look forward to the jammie picture every year! it is so fun to watch this group of kiddos get bigger right before our very eyes. how do the kids outnumber the adults already?!? we are in big trouble with all these cuties but they have so much fun together and can i just say how rewarding it is as a mother to watch your kids develop friendships on their own? i love that these kids are growing up together, and hope that they will all be just as good of friends as the adults are. :)

..all the kids sitting on santa's lap. except sam, who wouldn't go near him!..

..a close-up shot, for good measure..

..the babies of 2014 :)..

it was a fabulous night, to say the least and i'm already looking forward to next year!

..happy birthday, sam..

my dearest sammykins,

happy SECOND birthday, bud! it's hard to believe you are another year older - man, how this past year flew! in some ways it feels like the looooongest year of my life, but in other ways it feels like i blinked and it went by.

my dear boy, there are days when i wish you would stay just the way you are forever, and then there are days when i wish you would be a grown man with kids of your own haha - you give me and your dad a run for our money most days, but i'll tell ya, i wouldn't have it any other way. you are so full of life and personality, and we have absolutely loved watching you grow and develop this past year. you are so smart, and every day i am amazed by the new things you say and do. you have been talking so well for quite a while now. you have the cutest little voice in all the world - there aren't many things i enjoy more than listening to you speak. when you're in a good mood, that is. ;)

we have always said that when you're good, you are really good. but when you're bad, you are really bad. haha there isn't a lot of middle ground with you. you are either just so silly and fun to be around, or so ornery, mood and scary to be around. you can throw a tantrum like no other, and on those occasions when we witness "sam the incredible hulk," i just hope and pray that this is the peak of your "terrible" phase, because i'm not sure what we'll do if it gets much worse! dad and i are the only people who ever really witness your terrible side, so pretty much everyone else just thinks you're the cutest thing ever. which you are. you really do have a magnetic personality.

you have really grown to love your baby brother this past month. it has been so fun to watch, although a bit frightening at times. you try so hard to be gentle with him, but i don't think you're aware of your strength! whenever you see gus, you're eyes get big and you say "baybee gus, baybee gus!" and come running for him. you love to kiss his head, and you also love to claw it. haha i think that's the side of you seeking attention, but for the most part i have been very pleasantly surprised at how well you have adjusted to being a big brother.

you and finn still seem to have a love/hate relationship. you two don't really play that well together, and it can be a bit frustrating. i feel like a referee most of the time - always blowing my whistle and assigning time-outs. i hope and pray each day that as you grow, you will become better friends. i can see that you love each other dearly, though, and that warms my heart. finn is so protective of you - in fact, a few weeks ago we were at a family party. you two were playing with the other kids your age, when one of them hit you with a stick. finn witnessed it, grabbed a stick of his own, walked up to the kid who hit you and said, "don't do that to my brother." i didn't see this, dad did, but he said it made him so proud haha and i must admit, tears welled up in my eyes when i heard it. i have no doubt you would do the same for him. i guess it's just a brotherly code - you can pick on one another, but no one else can. :)

although you tend to be my most challenging child most days, you're also the one who can get me to laugh quickest and as they say, the things in life that challenge us are also the most rewarding. i have such admiration for you, and a love that could never be put into words. your excitement for life is unparalleled by anyone i know, and it's one of the things i love most about you. i know you will grow to accomplish great things one day mr sam, and you will touch many lives along the way. you remind me most of your dad, and as frustrating and infuriating as you both can be at times, the good in you always outweighs the bad.

sure do love ya kid, and hope you have the happiest birthday!

love,
mom

..happy THIRD birthday..

my dear sweet finn,

happy THIRD birthday, kiddo! i honestly cannot believe you are three years old - it blows my mind. it seems like it was just yesterday - that beautiful april afternoon, when we headed to the hospital to begin the greatest adventure we've ever been on. i remember ever detail and would give anything to go back and re-live that day just one more time. it was the best day of my life. :)

you have been the most amazing blessing and perfect addition to our family. from day one i felt like i had known you forever. you, my dear, were my first experience with love at first sight. never before in my life had i felt such an instant, overwhelming, powerful love and connection, and my love for you has only grown stronger. each and every day i find myself loving you more and more.

it seems that in the blink of an eye you have turned into a little boy. you talk more and more every day. we're always rolling on the ground over the things you say and do. you are sure a silly little guy, and know just what to do to make us smile. you also know just what to do to make us want to pull our hair out. ;) people always lead you to believe that kids are naughtiest when during their 2's - i beg to differ. pretty sure you'll give us a run for our money this year as a 3-year-old. as is your custom, though, you are a very mildly naughty little boy. i know you were meant to be our first-born, to help teach us the ropes through this journey of parenthood. you are so patient with your mom and dad - quick to forgive when we misbehave.

you are such an amazing big brother, and that has been one of my favorite things about the last year and a half - watching you and your little brother become friends. there have been times when i've questioned whether or not you like each other, but in the last few months it has become obvious that you think the world of each other. one of your favorite things to do first thing every morning is wake sammy up and deliver him his bottle. you are always so concerned that we might leave him behind as we're heading out the door, and lovingly remind us to "pick up sam." as the weather has warmed up, you're always coming up to sam, asking, "hey sam, you wanna come pway outside wif me?" my heart bursts with pride as i watch your bond strengthen, and i am confident that the two of you will grow to be best of friends as the years go on. i can only hope there is room in your duo for your next little bro. :)

thank you for all that you have taught me in your three years here. i have learned more in the past three years than in all the rest of my years combined. you have taught me patience and understanding, humility and the importance of forgiveness, and while i am nowhere near the mom and person i wish i was, you are helping me to become better with each passing day. i love you more than words could ever describe, and thank my heavenly father every day for the privilege and honor of being your mommy. you mean the world to me, mr. finn jeffrey powell! i honestly don't know what i would do, or who i would be without you.

happy THIRD birthday, cute kid. i know this next year will be a good one. :)

love,
mom

..dashing through the snow..

...on a one horse open sleigh! okay, well technically there were two horses, and we were on more of a wagon than a sled, but it was still so much fun and something i hope to make a tradition in the years to come.

it all started a week or so ago when uncle zac decided he wanted to finally propose to shrimp. we were brainstorming fun ways to do it, and he decided a sleigh ride up at red ledges was the winning idea! my mom made a bride & groom gingerbread cookie, and zac tied the ring to the bride. the plan was to meet up in heber, with hot cocoa & snow clothes and he would get down on one knee somewhere on the sleigh ride.

the plan went off without a hitch! the driver was a little quirky, and started off the ride on an interesting foot when he made fun of golfers! haha he had no idea zac is a soon-to-be professional golfer, so it was so funny listening to him talk about golf. i think he was a bit embarrassed when we told him he was driving a sleigh full of golfers. lol! zac arranged with the driver ahead of time to stop halfway through so he could propose. i must say, even i had butterflies waiting for it to happen! alicia was so surprised, it was so fun to watch and i am so glad we were there for it.

we ended the ride with delicious hot chocolate and of course some photos to help capture this wonderful memory.