Thursday, January 8, 2015

..4 months..

my dearest gus,

today you are 4 months old. four months old. i could pour my heart out about how sad this makes me, but i'll spare you the dramatics and just say wow, time flies and yes, it breaks my heart. i wish you could stay a baby forever. i really am so serious.

from the day you came into this world, you have had your mama wrapped around your tiny finger. tears fill my eyes as i look back on the past four months, and think of all the love and light your presence has brought to our home. you are such a ray of sunshine, my sweet sweet boy. what did we ever do without you?

people had me worried about baby #3. the game changer and the big adjustment. that is what everyone said you'd be. i prepared myself for a bumpy ride but it has not been that way at all. as with each baby that joins our family, changes are made to accommodate the newest addition. schedules are moved around, sleep becomes a thing of the past, as does any time for myself. but the sacrifices made pale in comparison to the added measure of love you bring.

as a young girl, i always looked forward to this time in my life. when i would be a young wife and mother, spending my days taking care of babies and raising children. i always assumed it would be the happiest time of my life. and as i sit here, thinking about the happiness you and your brothers bring me, the reality of this time in my life far outweighs those adolescent dreams. i mean, how lucky am i, that all my dreams have come true beyond every expectation?

don't get me wrong, i am usually at my wits end by bedtime every day. i yell way more than i wish i did and on the worst of days i am ready to commit myself to a mental institution. either that or ship your brothers off to a traveling circus. dad said that every time i call him, i spend more time saying "stop that! be quiet! keep your hands to yourself! stop crying! ugghhhhh they are driving me craaaazzzy!" than i do actually talking to him. but in the quiet moments that come and go all too quickly, the spirit calms my heart and reminds me that this is a time in my life that i'll be longing to relive years from now. you are only a baby for a short time, so i am doing all i can to cherish this precious time.

it is no secret to anyone how much i love you. you are the sweetest baby. so good-natured and easy going. when people come over, almost all of them say, "is he always this good?" as long as you aren't too tired or too hungry you are happy as a clam. you remind me so much of finn in that way. you smile at anyone who smiles at you. that reminds me of your big brother sam. you are a mamas boy through and through, and nothing makes me happier. i have always wanted one of those!

at four months old you.....
-sit up well in your bumbo
-laugh when tickled
-nurse every 1.5-2 hours (it's a lucky day if we make it 3) but you are so fast. done in 5 minutes.
-took a bottle like a champ. i have nursed you exclusively your whole life - you had one bottle back in october and another one mid-december and that's it. but lately you've seemed so small to me, and you have been fussier than normal,  and never seem satisfied after nursing, which leads me to wonder if you are hungry? so i made you a bottle of formula, just sure you wouldn't take it, especially if i was the one feeding you. but you guzzled it.
-still aren't on a great schedule. getting sick + the holidays + the 4 month sleep regression totally threw you off and we are still trying to figure things out. last night you slept 11 hours but that was the first time in weeks! hopefully we can get things figured out soon.
-are somewhat terrified of sam, but when he is being soft and gentle you love him.
-looooove finn. you just sit and smile and talk to him and it makes my mama heart so happy.
-moved from your rocker by my bedside, to your rocker in my closet, and finally to your crib in your very own room. this was very bittersweet for me, and most nights i long to have you back at my bedside. but none of us were sleeping very well - you were waking up more often than you had been, and i think it's because as you're getting older, you can't block out the sound as well. so even when we were being as quiet as we could be, you'd still wake up ready to party. you have done pretty well in your own room, so that's great. but i do miss you being so close to me at all hours of the day.
-have strong legs, and can stand (while we are holding your hands, of course) for minutes at a time.
-blow lots of bubbles and suck your pointer & middle finger when your binki isn't near by.
-have a firm grip.
-don't love your carseat. you've been the first of my babies that won't sleep in the carseat for hours at a time. this is somewhat of a challenge since we are in and out of the house so much.
-don't love church. haha it is the only time of the week that you get pretty fussy.
-are getting close to rolling from your back to your stomach.
-don't like tummy time.
-like to be swaddled suuuuuuper tight and definitely seem to sleep best that way.

at your doctor appointment today we found out that you are just a tiny little baby, but you are healthy and despite your small size, you are growing beautifully.

weight: 12 lbs 6 oz - 8th percentile
height: 25 inches - 55th percentile
head circ.: i forgot :)
i know most moms say that each and every stage is so fun, and while i agree with that, i still just wish you could stay my baby. you have been my little tag-along from the beginning, and i have loved all the one-on-one time we spend together while your crazy brothers are hanging with dad. i will admit that i am excited to watch your relationships with them strengthen as you get bigger. it is my sincerest hope that you three will grow to be the best of friends. nothing would make me happier. but i also hope that you will always keep a special place in your heart for me, your mama who loves you more than you could ever possible know.

i could eat you up i love you so!

love,
mom



Wednesday, December 31, 2014

..2014: year in review..

i am flooded with all sorts of memories and emotions as i look back on 2014. i remember this day one year ago, feeling giddy and excited as i sat and wondered what 2014 would have in store for our little family. as we were making preparations to build/buy a home, and having just found out a week prior that i was pregnant with baby #3, i felt the upcoming year would be a memorable one. filled with many exciting opportunities, blessings and some challenges, this past year is one i will always look back on with fond memories.

in chronological order, i present to you our top 14 of 2014:

1) on february 11th i had my first prenatal doctor appointment and found out that baby #3 was healthy and growing right on track. that first appointment is always a nerve-wracking one. you spend those first weeks pregnant with no actual proof, other than that dreaded morning sickness, that a baby is alive in there. i feel very fortunate that i've been able to hear the heartbeat at each first visit, this time being no exception. beyond hearing the heartbeat, i also got a glimpse of my little babe with an ultrasound, and as is always the case, it was love at first sight. what a gift and amazing opportunity it is to grow a human inside you! i feel truly blessed that i've experienced it three times, and hope there is at least one (or two!) more in heaven waiting to come down. 
2) on february 24th i went to fetal studio and found out that baby #3 was another boy! i can't say i was too surprised - i've always had a feeling we will have all boys. notwithstanding the initial feeling of disappointment (i don't feel guilty admitting that anymore because i'm more obsessed with gus than with any other baby ever!) i quickly became excited at the thought of more snips, snails and puppy dog tails. we sure love our boys, we know how to do boys, we have all the things we need for boys, and as has been the case with many other things in my life, i could very clearly see the lord's hand in this. as we were preparing to sign off on the plans to build our house, i don't think we would have been able to afford a girl. haha and let's be honest, with the way i like to shop and dress my kids, we probably never will! :) 

3) in march, lance and i went on a weekend getaway to new york city to visit his sister, wendy, and her family. my mom was kind and brave enough to stay home with our crazy children, which let's just say - thank goodness! i don't think i'll ever dare take anyone younger than the age of 12 to nyc! i had never been to new york in the winter before, and lance and i definitely weren't prepared for the bone-chilling temps. it's a good thing i packed my north face coat at the last minute, because i wouldn't have survived without it. despite the freezing weather, we had so much fun visiting with the liechty's, seeing the sights and eating delicious food, and hope to make it back sometime in the not-too-distant future. we'll make sure to go in the spring, summer or fall though. ;)

4) on march 27th we got the highly anticipated call from derek (henry walker's realtor) that our house plans had been approved by the city and they were going to dig our hole on march 29th! what an exciting day that was. never in my life would i have anticipated feeling giddy at the sight of a tractor and a ton of dirt, but i proved myself wrong that day. our dreams of building a home finally felt like a reality and the sleepless nights we had spent the previous 2 months, wondering if it would all pan out,  finally felt worth it. 

5) finn turned THREE years old on april 10. how do i have a three-year-old?! sometimes it just doesn't even feel real. because i was pregnant and nauseous and in the throes of building a house, i opted to have his birthday party at chuck-e-cheeses, rather than doing it at home. i felt a little guilty, because i've always loved planning and prepping for birthday parties, but this route was so much easier and for the most part, stress-free! we ate pizza, played games, opened presents and ended the night with donuts - i was too lazy to even make a cake! finn didn't seem to mind, though. ;) in fact, i think he liked it better, and i really enjoyed not having to clean up after. 

6) in may we took a little family vacation to california to visit lance's other sister, tiffany, and her family. we flew into oakland, and spent a day at their home in danville, before heading down to monterey where we rented a beach house. in theory it sounded like it would be a great vacation, but learned the hard way that the reality of it all would be much different. long story short - we lived in a glass box for three days, with basically nothing toddler friendly. i felt like i spent the entire time saying "finn don't do that! sam don't touch!" sliding glass doors, a glass kitchen table, a glass coffee table, a glass entertainment center and bookcase. glass on glass on glass. the weekend ended with finn burning holes in the white carpet with a blowdryer that lance had left him alone with. lance then tried to "fix" it by patching the burned carpet with carpet from under one of the beds. long story short, it didn't work and the homeowner billed us $4,000 (for 700 sqft of carpet!) and made us pay her that same day. she was seriously psycho and looking back i wish we had handled the situation differently. i mean, isn't there renters insurance for a reason?! nevertheless, c'est la vie and good riddance! it will be a looooong time before we go back to the bay area, though! like, until our kids are grown and responsible for themselves because it seems like every time we go there, something goes wrong (train accident of 2011 & then this). it was still fun to be with the chesnos' and watch finn and sam play with jett. we sure wish both of lance's sisters lived closer!

7) my little brother accomplished his lifelong dream of becoming a professional golfer when he turned pro in april of this year. after playing on the latin america pga tour for a couple months, he hit it big when he not only qualified to play in the us open, but made the cut and finished in the top 40. it was so much fun watching him on tv, and i'll forever cherish the memory i have of watching him and my dad walk up the 18th fairway together on sunday - father's day - and shake hands after zac completed his final putt of the tournament. his career has really taken off since - after finishing second in the web.com championship, he earned his pga tour card and has been on the road non-stop, chasing his dreams. we've had so much fun watching "uncle zac" on tv, and my mom, gus and i even made it down to vegas in october to watch him play a few holes. it has been so amazing to see all his hard work pay off, and i look forward to cheering him on in the months and years to come.

8) july and august were a whirlwind (the whole year was, really) but they'll go down in the books as some of the best! we closed on our house on july 10th, got the keys on the 11th and wasted no time moving things over and getting settled. our plan was to move the small stuff over gradually, as we didn't have to be out of our woods cross house until july 31st, and then have one or two "big" move-days, where we'd rent a u-haul and take over all the big stuff. i honestly don't know what we would have done without our family and friends, who helped us out more than we ever dreamed possible. i'll blame it on pregnancy, but i was seriously worthless when it came to packing and moving. so lazy and so dreading the entire process. my mom did most of my packing, and took care of finn and sam most of the month. our friends from the neighborhood and ward helped us with the big stuff on the 19th and lance's dad, wendy, devin, dana and her boyfriend moved all our crap from the crawl space on the 28th. somehow in the midst of all the chaos, we still managed to celebrate my birthday (think pepsi & swig sugar cookies - lots of them!) and pioneer day. the fair that bountiful city puts on was so much fun and something i hope will become a tradition of ours. finn also took swimming lessons the entire summer, and it was so amazing watching how comfortable he became in the water. we spent most of our days unpacking, organizing, shopping, decorating and getting settled in our new home! what an incredible feeling it was to finally be moved in. and although we still miss our friends and our old ward, this house felt like home in no time at all. 

9) as is the case every year, friendunion 2014 was a definite highlight. this year's reunion was in bear lake, which brought back all sorts of fun memories, since we used to go up to jenny's cabin up there when we were dating and first married. it is amazing how much our group has grown in just a few short years! at the time of friendunion, the adults still out-numbered the kids, but by year's end, three babies have joined us, thus the kids will forever hold the lead. we spent four days lounging, eating, playing games, eating, playing at the beach, riding wave-runners and boats, building sandcastles and playing in the sand, eating, sleeping, and eating. it is always so fun to catch up with everyone, and honestly, no matter where we go, the best part of friendunion every year is just being together. i love that our kids are growing up together and hope that they will be just as good of friends as the adults are. 
10) september was another incredible month, with one of the reasons being that our little finnjamin reached two monumental milestones - the start of preschool and the beginning of his days as a soccer player! both things i have looked forward to since finding out i'd be a mother all those years ago. he was so brave on his first day of preschool, and i don't know that i've ever beamed with such pride. i was just sure i wouldn't shed any tears, but true to form, i started bawling like a baby while we waited in the drop-off line. my first little baby, all grown up! i was seriously having flash-forwards to doing this with him as a missionary and when he goes off to college. dramatic, much? haha i was certain i would miss him badly, but it only took a half or so before i wished i'd signed him up for one that was three days a week!! lol those two and a half hours without finn and sam fighting are blessed hours. ;) finn has learned so much in preschool and really has grown up a lot, and while it is sad to see him turn from a toddler into a little boy, i have to remind myself it really is a good thing. he is such a good kid, and i love watching him grow each and every day. 
his first soccer game was that same week. september 6th to be exact. it didn't go quite how i'd hoped haha but makes for better memories. we had been practicing with him for a few weeks, showing him how to kick the ball up and down the field (our yard) and score goals. i was just sure he'd go out there and kill it! well he wouldn't step foot on the field unless he was holding lance's hand, and bawled like a baby the entire game because other kids were taking the ball from him! seriously, one of the funniest things i've ever witnessed! i think every kid - on both teams - was in tears at one point, meanwhile every parent on the sidelines was crying tears of hysterical laughter. it was seriously hilarious! finn scored two goals that first game (only after using his hands to place the ball where he wanted it then proceeding to push everyone out of his way till he made it to the goal), but that was about the peak of his season. ;) his team was really bad. we're talking really bad, and despite repeated attempts to teach him (and the others) what the point of the game was, he never caught on. the first game was the only game he cried at though, and he went out there each subsequent saturday with a great attitude and had fun running around, which to me is all that matters. we will see what becomes of his soccer career in the years to come. 

11) the highest high of the year was definitely the safe arrival of our sweet baby boy, august keller powell, aka baby gus, on september 7th. although his birth was quite crazy, it is one of my fondest memories of well, my whole life (all my kids' births are). he has been the sweetest baby, and is such a great addition to our family. if you follow my posts on instagram and Facebook, you know that i am madly in love with him and totally obsessed. i think he is the cutest thing i've ever laid eyes on, and i spend most of my days holding him and kissing his yummy cheeks (or i try to, anyway). i really, really enjoyed my other boys as babies, but this kid has knocked it out of the park. it was so mystifying to me, why i was loving it as much as i am (i mean, i have done the baby boy thing two other times, you'd think i'd be used to it and know just what to expect of it) and for a while there i felt guilty that i was loving him so much. after talking with a friend about it, she pointed out that maybe heavenly father knew i needed this added measure of love in my life, and for this precious baby. it's not that i love him any more than i love my others, but i am loving the experience of being a mom to three boys so much. it might sound cheesy, but i feel like the luckiest girl on the planet. 

12) my sweet little sammy boy turned two on october 11th and we spent the whole weekend celebrating his birthday! i kept trying to talk myself into not having a big birthday party, since i had just had a baby and all, but the mom-guilt won and i threw him a last-minute mickey mouse birthday party. i ordered the invitations on a thursday, and had them printed, enveloped, addressed and in the mail by friday! sort of a miracle, if you ask me. when my sweet friend brooke opened her invitation, she text me and asked if sam really likes mickey mouse. i just assumed she was wanting to know whether or not to get him a mickey-type gift, but it turns out she had something even better in mind! her uncle is a young-at-heart mickey lover who owns a mickey costume, and she wanted to know if i was interested in having him make a surprise appearance at the party. ummm let me think for a second, heck YES! i had actually previously looked into character appearances, and they charge up the wazoo! we're talkin' $200+ dollars for 15 minutes, people. not happenin'. anyway, long story short, she asked her uncle, he was willing and able, so there you have it - probably the best last-minute birthday party in the history of birthday parties. ;) it was the first time having all our friends and family in our new home, and i was pleasantly surprised that we all seemed to fit just fine. the kids were totally starstruck, albeit somewhat skeptical, at mickey's appearance in our home. i think my favorite memory of the whole night was when cute krew clark walked into the powder bathroom, where mickey just happened to be getting suited-up. he quickly came out and said, "mom, is mickey mouse going to the bathroom?" hahaha sammy boy had the time of his life opening gifts and playing with friends, and although he wouldn't go near mickey unless we were right by, i know we will all look back on this birthday with the biggest smiles on our faces. what a night!

13) another thing i have looked forward to since, well, forever was taking my kids to disneyland for the first time! and oh man, it did not disappoint. i have been itching to go to disneyland all year long, but with being pregnant and building a house, and buying furniture to fill the house, and having a newborn baby, it just didn't seem like it was going to happen this year. but when i get something in my head, it's realllllly quite difficult to talk me down, which was the case here. i really wanted to go in october, because i've always heard it is decorated so cute for halloween. everything, and i mean everything, was booked though, so we settled for the beginning of november. my mom was able to take a day off of work and it ended up working out great because it was not busy at all! it was a pretty short little trip, but for our first time there a total success and a blast to boot! we stayed at the disneyland hotel, spent one whole day at disneyland, another day going back and forth between disneyland and california adventure, and ended our stay with a character breakfast at goofey's kitchen on sunday morning. finn had an absolute blast, and was able to ride almost every ride in both parks. the only ride he didn't like was splash mountain (total bummer, since that's my favorite!) but i think it was mostly because he doesn't like to get wet. ;) he was also a bit scared of space mountain, but was so brave the entire time. and now that i'm thinking of it, he wasn't too fond of the hollywood tower of terror either. besides those, he loved everything else and had so much fun meeting all the characters! sam was confined to his stroller for much of the time, but thanks to a bubble-gun we purchased on the first day, he stayed pretty entertained and happy. he was able to ride most of the rides as well, but none of the roller-coasters. and baby gus was just a little angel and slept pretty much the entire vacation. i was a bit worried that we'd regret taking a 2-month-old to disneyland, but it was not bad at all. in fact, he was probably the easiest one! i'd just bust out my nursing cover and plop down on a bench whenever he needed to eat. easy as pie. i was so grateful my mom was able to come. she is always such a huge help, and beyond that i know she loved watching my kids experience disneyland for the first time. what a tremendous blessing good grandmas are! needless to say, our vacation was a total success and although i have never been more exhausted in my life than i was after that trip, i cannot wait to go back. hopefully in the near future. :)

14) and finally, this holiday season has been one of the best! from thanksgiving until now, it seems like the past month and a half has been filled with non-stop fun. there are so many traditions and things i look forward to every year - black friday shopping with my mom, picking out a christmas tree with the boys, decorating our house (which proved to be extra fun this year since it was our first christmas in our new home!), christmas shopping, our annual friend christmas party, the lights at temple square and zoo lights, breakfast with santa at the osbornes, ordering and sending christmas cards, celebrating our anniversary, making gingerbread cookies and caramel with my mom, christmas eve, christmas day and i could go on and on. this year was even better, with gus' blessing and having our family and friends over after, and having all of lance's family in town. it has been a fun-filled month, and a great end to a fabulous year. 

as i reflect back on 2014, it was even better than i initially remembered. we have been so blessed this past year, and i am so grateful to my heavenly father for the many opportunities he has given us. i am so thankful for my little (or not so little!) family and for the love, laughter, happiness and joy they bring to my life. as i sit and wonder what this next year may have in store for us, it seems a bit daunting because unlike last year, when i felt like i knew at least some things to expect from the upcoming year, i have absolutely no idea what this next year has in store. may we go forward with hopeful minds and cheerful hearts, ready to take on what life has in store. 

happy new year!

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

..twins three years apart..

when i put pictures of finn & gus at the same ages side-by-side, it amazes me how alike they look. there are definitely some differences, don't get me wrong, but for the most part i think they look almost identical. almost daily, while i'm holding gus, i'll look down at his cute little face and totally experience deja vu. flashbacks to when it was baby finn in my arms, over three and a half years ago! it is insane, people.

snapping photos of the two of them together a) melts my freakin' heart, and b) is like a mirror-image, only gus is looking into himself, three years in the future. :) i can't wait to see if these two always stay twins three years apart, or if as they grow, they'll start to look more different.

Monday, December 29, 2014

..family pictures..

a couple months ago, when i realized all of lance's family would be in town for christmas, i decided it was a good idea to schedule family pictures. i wasn't sure how the rest of the family would feel about it, because they all seem to have a long history of despising having their pictures taken. they blame their mother, who apparently never stopped snapping photos and entered them in all sorts of modeling contests and such. yes, really.

i was pleasantly surprised that all (besides nanny goat) were very compliant and even seemed somewhat excited to have a family photo taken. and bonus, dave said he's always wanted to be part of a family that coordinates outfits for family pictures! happy to do my part in making dreams come true. ;)

we had to move the location indoors due to the weather and sub-freezing temps, but luckily alison (the photographer) knew of a really great location - heritage gardens. it is a reception center and worked out nicely because we could do indoor and/or outdoor. we got a great variety, which i'm really happy about.

i think the pictures turned out lovely. i don't know why i'm always surprised that we usually seem to get great photos. if you video taped our photo sessions, you'd probably be surprised, too. ;) one two-year-old during a session is generally enough to make you want to commit yourself to a mental facility. either that or make you totally question why on earth you'd pay money for photos when they never seem to cooperate. throw in another two-year-old and it just felt like a circus act. ;) i'm kidding, it wasn't nearly that bad. lucky for me, i know to keep my expectations low. i always say if there is even just one photo with everyone looking toward the camera - success! and we got quite a few so i'd say it was a total success.

if anyone is looking for an affordable photographer, check out alison neeley photography. she just started her business a few months ago, but is fantastic and talented. she keeps her prices low because she believes everyone should have the opportunity to have family pictures, without having to pay an arm and a leg. i really love that about her. plus she is easy going and fun to work with. :) thanks for the great photos, alison!


..snow day..

we've waited all month long for snow, so now that we finally have some lance decided we better take the kids out to play in it. and by "we," i mean lance. i ain't steppin' foot out in that nasty stuff. ;) i'm only kidding. sort of. okay well the truth of the matter is, i was going to go watch them sled down the big hill by the church, but once i realized how windy and frigid it was, i decided it would be irresponsible as a mother to take gus out there. ;) i also remembered all the reasons i hate winter. brrrr. the boys lasted a good 10 minutes before they came home. looks like their love for the powdery white stuff is off to a great start. ;) once they came home, they went out back and really did seem to enjoy themselves for a while. in fact, when lance brought sam inside about 20 minutes later, he started crying to go back out. maybe he takes after his dad, after all.

some rosy cheeks, if i've ever seen some. here's to hoping the rest of the winter is warmer than today. (in my dreams, eh? someone get me to hawaii!)