..finn is 23 months..

dear finn,

i can hardly even believe that in one short month you will be two years old! two years. where in the world has the time gone?

before you were born, march was never a month i particularly looked forward to or enjoyed. i feel like mother nature is a tease in march - is it winter or is it spring? it will be 60 degrees one day and a blizzard the next. however, my feelings on march changed in the march of 2011. i was 8 months pregnant with you, and i really felt like i was going to have you any day. i finished all the little details in your room, finished stocking your closet full of the most adorable, tiny baby clothes, ran all sorts of errands in preparation for your entrance into this world. i had baby showers in march, and went to lunch with friends to celebrate your impending arrival. dad and i went on lots of dinner/movie dates (since we knew we probably wouldn't be going out much, just the two of us, when you came). i awaited news of your friends' impending arrivals (jen, mary, chelsey, and april were all due roughly the same time as you). every day i woke up and wondered if that was the day i would go into labor. alas, march came and went and you didn't come, but now march will always have a special place in my heart. perhaps it has to do with the changing of the seasons (even if winter and spring do tease us all march long). the days last longer, the birds start chirping, the flowers start blooming, the grass gets a little greener and for some reason, life just gets better in march. and i feel like i have you to thank, in part, for helping me see that. just like with everything else, you have changed my view and helped me see the world as a happier place. i sure love ya, finners.

i look at you and day in and day out i see a little boy forming in you. you definitely aren't a baby anymore! i know you've been a toddler for quite some time now, but for some reason you are just looking so old and big to me lately. maybe it's the way we've been styling your hair lately? or the fact that you're starting to talk more and communication is a bit easier? whatever the reason may be, there is a part of me that weeps whenever i realize how fast you are growing up. you have made being a mom the most enjoyable experience for me. we definitely have difficult days, and there are times when i do want to pull my hair out because of you! haha but we manage to make it through and at the end of the day (when you and baby sam are asleep, in your beds) i seem to reclaim my sanity and realize what a privilege and honor it is to be your mom.

some things i want to remember about you at 23 months:
-you are mr. independent. you have a mind of your own, and don't like me and dad telling you what you can, or can't, do. you are no longer content sitting in a high chair at dinner, you like to be sitting in a chair or alongside us in the booth. you aren't satisfied sitting in your stroller, you'd rather by walking around like a free man. ;) most of the times your desire for independence is a bit frustrating, but i know it's totally normal, and we are trying to find a healthy balance between letting you exert your independence and giving you boundaries.
-still a major daddy's boy. maybe even more so than ever. there are times when you won't even come to me. breaks your momma's heart, but i know it is probably just a little jealousy (since i am usually taking care of sam, while dad takes care of you). i just have to tell myself, "this too shall pass." ;)
-major stranger danger. at any sign of us leaving you (with anyone besides grandma) you freak out!
-you've had cabin fever, big time, this month. i have too. let's just say, the fact that we've been able to get out more, now that the weather has been a little nicer, has changed our lives! haha for real though.
-you're still the cutest big brother anyone could ever have. you are in sam's face, on top of him, in his crib, carseat, swing....basically wherever he is....90% of our waking hours. you love him so much, and it really just melts my heart to watch you guys together.

i haven't been very good at keeping track of your development this month, sorry! i promise i'll try to do better. :) i sure love ya kiddo, and am grateful for all that you've taught me.

love,
mom